- Hank Hill: Bill, you know, Leanne's first husband is hiding out on an oil rig in the gulf and he swears he's not coming ashore until I fax him her death certificate.
- Dale Gribble: [after seeing Bill's toe fungus] I never thought I'd say this, but I don't think I can finish my beer.
- [as Leeane proceeds to ruin the engagement barbecue party]
- Dale Gribble: Poor Bill. His woman's making a fool of him.
- John Redcorn: [Redcorn has been secretly sleeping with Dale's wife] It happens.
- Bill Dauterive: We're engaged!
- Leanne Platter: [angrily] It was supposed to be a surprise!
- [she hits Bill on the shoulder and then burps]
- Leanne Platter: I need a smoke.
- [Bill escapes from his house as Leanne is screaming and throwing plates at him; he is also wearing sunglasses to cover up a black eye]
- Bill Dauterive: H-hey, fellas.
- Hank Hill: What happened to your eye?
- Bill Dauterive: Eye? Oh -- oh, my eye. Well, it's an interesting story. I was walking and I walked right into a door!
- Dale Gribble: Wait a minute. How is that interesting?
- [Peggy and Leanne are fighting on Bill's lawn]
- Leanne Platter: I kicked your brother's ass and now I'm gonna kick yours, sissy girl!
- [Peggy is struggling to gain strength over Leanne]
- Peggy Hill: Well, there's one thing you didn't count on. My brother has got size 6 feet. BUT I DON'T! Ho-yeah!
- [Peggy uses her feet to knock Leanne off her]
- [Leanne has arrived at the engagement party absolutely wasted]
- Luanne Platter: Mama, maybe you should eat something.
- Leanne Platter: WELL, WHERE'S THE DAMN FOOD? DID FUNGUS-FOR-BRAINS EAT IT ALL?
- [Leanne downs her beer and chucks the bottle at Bill's head]