- Doug Heffernan: [Knocking on his supervisor's door] Sir you got a moment?
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: Yes I know Heffernan, the machine's out of milk duds. The guy is coming tomorrow!
- Doug Heffernan: It's actually not about that.
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: It's not? What is it, then?
- Doug Heffernan: [Sits down in his office] Where is Doug Heffernan... going?
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: [Looking at his folder] You're going to... Brooklyn!
- Doug Heffernan: No I meant in my career. I've been here, like, 10 years. I think I deserve the chance to move up.
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: Heffernan, last week, I asked if anybody wanted to apply for assistant supervisor. I believe that your response was...
- [puts his hand on his mouth and blows, making a flatulence noise]
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: .
- Doug Heffernan: You gotta relax your lower lip... it's like this...
- [does the same gesture but the sound is deeper]
- Doug Heffernan: .
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: Just go and get on your route, eh?
- Doug Heffernan: Sir, I'm gonna level with you. I'm gonna need you to give me some kind of promotion here.
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: Why?
- Doug Heffernan: I had a big fight with my wife about her moving up in her job, and I told her that I could too.
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: You really painted yourself into a corner on THAT one!
- Doug Heffernan: It doesn't even have to be anything big. Just something I can take home and use to make her feel like crap!
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: [Turns around to the notice board behind him and pulls off a notice] The union says we gotta get someone to organize the CPR and safety program.
- Doug Heffernan: That would be great! Can it have a title?
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: How about Safety Monitor?
- Doug Heffernan: How about Safety "Chief"?
- Supervisor Patrick O'Boyle: How about you get your ass in your truck because I'm sick of your face?