The King of Queens (TV Series)

Cologne Ranger (2005)

Kevin James: Doug Heffernan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kate : Hmmmmm what happened to that great cologne you had on yesterday?

  Doug Heffernan : Oh decided not to wear it today. Went back to my old midnight steel.

  Kate : Oh yeah. My dad wears that.

  Deacon Palmer : You're not wearing the DiMali anymore?

  Doug Heffernan : Naw you know what? Carrie didn't like it.

  Deacon Palmer : Well if the scent's up for grabs I'll take it.

  Doug Heffernan : It's all yours man enjoy it.

  Danny Heffernan : Ho-hooooo boy. When I was married we had our own troubles but... .my wife never told me how to smell.

  Doug Heffernan : No she was too busy taking naps with the gardener.

  Danny Heffernan : Ok she wasn't taking naps with the gardener ok? She was taking naps with the landscaper. Gardener was a lookout.

  Deacon Palmer : Sorry Carrie banned the DiMali from you but hey your loss is my gain.

  Danny Heffernan : And he wasn't just a landscaper. He was a licensed contractor.

  Doug Heffernan : Whoa whoa whoa. Ok Carrie doesn't ban me from things ok? I decide.

  Deacon Palmer : Ok so one day you woke up and decided to throw out your PlayStation?

  Doug Heffernan : No that was Carrie but... ..she was right I was headed for some serious thumb trouble.

  Danny Heffernan : And what about the football pool, the go-kart and your... red cowboy boots?

  Doug Heffernan : Love those boots... .

  Deacon Palmer : And you loved your mustache.

  Doug Heffernan : Yeah. Oh my god little by little she's been... ..been taking over my world.

  Deacon Palmer : It's not really little by little it's more like big decisive chunks.

  Doug Heffernan : How long you guys been knowing this is going on?

  Deacon Palmer : I don't know it's been about what? 10 years this Friday?

  Doug Heffernan : Well I'll tell you something. Alright it ends here. Sorry man but I'm taking my scent back. And I'm going home right now... to take my life back. Right after I finish my wings.