Justice League Unlimited (TV Series)

The Ties That Bind (2005)

Michael Rosenbaum: The Flash, Wally West

Quotes 

• Kalibak : Well, if it isn't my treacherous stepbrother... and his cow.

  Big Barda : Arrogant worm! How dare you...

  The Flash : [breaking up fight]  Knock it off! What are you guys, twelve?

  [sotto voce] 

  The Flash : I can't believe I'm the mature one here.

• [as they're about to enter the X-pit] 

  Mr. Miracle : [to Flash and Barda]  Neither of you signed on for this.

  Big Barda : Actually, I did. The day I married you.

  The Flash : Well, I'm not that commited, but I'm with you.

• The Flash : Not that I mind the exercise, but couldn't your boob tube have transported us any closer?

  Big Barda : It's "boom tube"!

• The Flash : [an obvious self-destruct countdown is heard throughout The X Pit]  Not liking the sound of that.

• Kalibak : Saved by a female!

  The Flash : [to Big Barda]  Guess you'd better drop him.

  [Big Barda starts to drop him] 

  The Flash : KIDDING!

• The Flash : Come on, Ugly! Move that hairy butt!

  Kalibak : It's... humiliating being rescued by your enemy.

  Mr. Miracle : As humiliating as being Virman Vundabar's pet?

  Kalibak : Well, if it isn't my treacherous stepbrother.

  [Looks over at Big Barda] 

  Kalibak : And his cow.

  Big Barda : Arrogant worm. How dare you...

  [Big Barda goes to strike Kalibak] 

  The Flash : Knock it off! What are you guys, twelve? I can't believe I'm the mature one here.

  Mr. Miracle : He's right. We've got bigger problems.

  Virman Vundabar : [a video monitor turns on revealing Virman Vundabar]  Indeed you do, fools! Much bigger! And, oh, how I will delight in watching you fail!

  [Barda blasts the monitor] 

  Virman Vundabar : Ver-r-r-ry interesting... but futile.

• Kalibak : Don't get cocky. Vundabar's not done with us yet!

  [an entire army of guard robots suddenly attack] 

  The Flash : Hope you're happy!

  Kalibak : Indeed, I am!

  [He and Barda then battle and smash the guard robots. Mr. Miracle and Flash hang back] 

  The Flash : Shouldn't we...?

  Mr. Miracle : And spoil their fun?

• Big Barda : We don't need these cowards! We can do it on our own!

  The Flash : Great news, Bertha! You don't have to!

  [Barda seizes him by the throat] 

  Big Barda : BARDA!

  The Flash : [squeaks]  Isn't that what I said?

• The Flash : [Big Barda is fighting the robot guards]  Robots! I love smashing robots!

  Mr. Miracle : No! You've got something more important to do. Search this place and find Kalibak.

  The Flash : Will you two be all -

  [robot head flies past] 

  The Flash : Okay!

• The Flash : Could it hurt them to show me just a little respect?

  Elongated Man : Tell me about it, I've been at this longer than you and they still treat me like comic relief.

  The Flash : Better than being treated like a teenage sidekick! I mean, I was one of the original seven! Tell me the truth, Ralph, do I seem immature to you?

  Elongated Man : Not in the least.

  [Widen to show they are playing "Brawlin' Bots"] 

  The Flash : Ha! I bopped your block off!

  Elongated Man : That-that's not fair, the green guy's arms are longer!

  The Flash : Are not!

• J'onn J'onzz : [last lines]  Flash...

  The Flash : Yeah, I know, I know, I went behind your back! But look how everything turned out! We boom back here for you, the switch went off perfectly, and now we've got Kalibak locked up on Earth where neither side can use him!

  J'onn J'onzz : You don't...

  The Flash : So, yeah! I did go behind your back, but you know what? I'd do it again! What do you say to that, big guy?

  J'onn J'onzz : [smiles]  I was only going to ask if you wanted to play Brawlin' Bots.

  The Flash : ...Dibs on the green one!

  [zooms away] 

  J'onn J'onzz : I wanted the green one...

• Granny Goodness : Oh, Scott, you didn't let Granny down. When I heard the X Pit had been destroyed, I thought for certain you and dear Kalibak were lost. How did you manage to get out?

  Mr. Miracle : [indicating the Flash]  Ask him.

  The Flash : Trade secret.

  Big Barda : Enough of this. Where is Oberon?

  Granny Goodness : Ah, yes, that mouthy little pipsqueak was very rude to Granny. And he's going to be taught a lesson.

  The Flash : See? What did I tell you? People are so predictable.

  [Kalibak shifts into J'onn] 

  J'onn J'onzz : Try *not* to think about where you've got Oberon hidden.

  [reading Granny's mind] 

  J'onn J'onzz : Darkseid's old palace. I'll guide you.

• The Flash : How did you get out of that water thing?

  Mr. Miracle : Trade secret.

• Mr. Miracle : Voila, the way out.

  Kalibak : [taking cover as blasters on the walls begin firing]  Now what?

  Mr. Miracle : Now we make miracles.

  [as he uses his flying discs to take the blasters out, two barricades of flames appear] 

  The Flash : No, no, no. Allow me.

  [he turns into a cyclone to disable the flames, and a door explodes open] 

  Big Barda : Flash!

  The Flash : [unhurt]  What?

• The Flash : [on Apokolips]  So, you two grew up around here?

  Big Barda : This cesspool of a world was all I knew. I was one of Granny's blind and brainwashed puppets until Scott cut my strings.

• The Flash : [seeing the demonic dogs on Apokolips]  Why do I get the feeling those puppies haven't had their shots?

  Mr. Miracle : So let's give 'em a few.