Jack Arrested for Disturbing the Peace

Court Clerk: Judge, isn't that a pretty stiff sentence? Thirty days for jaywalking?

Judge: I can't help it. I'm so tired and irritable. Some idiot played his violin and kept me awake all night. First he'd start, then he'd stop then he'd start, then he'd stop, start, stop, start, stop, start, at two in the morning!

[bangs the gavel]

Judge: Who's next?

bailiff: [to Jack] Okay, you're next.

Court Clerk: Alright, tell the court what you did.

Jack Benny: I... I...

Judge: Come, come, I'm very tired. What did you do?

Jack Benny: I robbed a safe.