How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Wedding (2006)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin

Quotes 

• [In MacLaren's Bar, Barney is hitting on Claudia, whose fiance just broke up with her] 

  Barney : Claudia, isn't it weird that we should... run into each other like this? Two souls, of equal levels of attractiveness, both fitting together like two pieces of a very... attractive puzzle.

  Lily : [running up to their booth and grabbing Barney's ear]  Oh, Hell no!

  Barney : [being dragged by ear away from Claudia]  ow, ow, ow, ow!

  Lily : [angrily]  Claudia is getting married tomorrow. And so help me God, if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles, and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out, and then I'll feed them to you like grapes!

  Barney : Wait! My eyes, or my testicles?

  Lily : [momentarily confused, then:]  One of each!

• Marshall : You know what, excuse me if I don't wanna get married barefoot next to Lake No-One's-Gonna-Drive-That-Far. Yes, I want a ballroom. And I want a band, and I want shoes. I've been dreaming about this day ever since I was, like...

  Lily : A little girl?

• Lily : I wish we were ninjas!

• Lily : Jeez, don't "Ted" out about it.