- Natalie: [Ted just broke up with Natalie] I'm not the one for you?
- Ted: I'm sorry. I just thought the mature thing to do...
- Natalie: It's my birthday!
- Ted: Yes, I know I didn't mean to...
- Natalie: It's my birthday, and you're telling me I'm not the one for you?
- Ted: It's really not such a big deal. I mean it's the odds. It's like you lost the lottery.
- Natalie: Oh, so dating you is like winning the lottery?
- Ted: No, no, no. I didn't mean that.
- Natalie: So what's the problem?
- Ted: It's... I can't explain it.
- Natalie: Try!
- Ted: It's... ineffable.
- Natalie: I'm not "F-able"?
- Barney: [after Robin refuses to say 'booger' on the news] What? Journalist? You do the little fluff pieces at the end of the news: old people, babies, monkeys. That's not journalism. That's just things in a diaper.