How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Return of the Shirt (2005)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted : Maybe I should call her. What do you guys think?

  Barney : You dumped a pornstar? Friendship over.

  Barney : [Stands up and shouts in Ted's face]  Friendship over!

• Lily : Why would Natalie hang up on you?

  Ted : I don't know.

  Barney : Did you sleep with her sister?

  Ted : No.

  Barney : Did you sleep with her mom?

  Ted : No.

  Barney : I'm losing interest in your story.

• Natalie : [Ted just broke up with Natalie]  I'm not the one for you?

  Ted : I'm sorry. I just thought the mature thing to do...

  Natalie : It's my birthday!

  Ted : Yes, I know I didn't mean to...

  Natalie : It's my birthday, and you're telling me I'm not the one for you?

  Ted : It's really not such a big deal. I mean it's the odds. It's like you lost the lottery.

  Natalie : Oh, so dating you is like winning the lottery?

  Ted : No, no, no. I didn't mean that.

  Natalie : So what's the problem?

  Ted : It's... I can't explain it.

  Natalie : Try!

  Ted : It's... ineffable.

  Natalie : I'm not "F-able"?

• Ted : I am calling her; this is crazy I haven't talked to her in, like, three years. I wonder if she even remembers me.

  Natalie : [Picks up the phone]  Hello?

  Ted : Natalie, it's Ted Mosby.

  Natalie : Go to hell.

  [Hangs up] 

  Ted : She remembers me.

• Ted : [about how he should break up with Natalie]  No, I have to do this face to face. It's just... I don't know what I'm gonna say!

  Lily : Ted, have you consider telling her the truth?

  [Barney and Marshall laugh at Lily] 

  Barney : Seriously, honey, men are working here.