Home Movies (TV Series)

The Wedding (2002)

H. Jon Benjamin: Coach John McGuirk, Jason Penopolis, Perry, Various

Quotes 

• Coach McGuirk : Rashes come from bad hygiene, all right? So what you've gotta do, whenever you go to a public restroom, and you sit on a toilet seat, put the toilet seat cover down. And if they don't have them there, manufacture one out of toilet paper, or your shirt, or your socks. Anything to cover the seat.

• Coach McGuirk : Do you wanna know what a real rash is?

  Brendon : No.

  Coach McGuirk : I'll tell you. You get a rash somewhere on your body. It hurts so bad that you go blind. That's how bad it is. You blow up like a balloon, you look like a circus freak, you know what I'm talking about?

  Brendon : No.

  Coach McGuirk : Next thing you know, you're in the circus, touring, making good money.

  Brendon : Wow.

  Coach McGuirk : You know my life.