- When Newkirk discovers a new radio-controlled tank that could win the war for Germany, the allies want Hogan and the men to photograph the tank and then destroy it - but complications ensue during their mission.
- Newkirk is on a reconnaissance mission/romantic rendezvous when he is interrupted by tests for a new type of tank. The tank has no driver and is radio controlled. All further tests for the tank will be held at Stalag 13. When Hogan hears of this he devises a plan involving a fake contest to beautify Stalags as a way to get pictures and info on the new tank before putting it out of commission.—tomtrekp
- At the start, Newkirk and a girl are out in the woods, kissing. Bombers are heard dropping bombs. Newkirk sees a remote controlled tank followed by a truck. The truck has an officer, driver, and a scientist in it. The tank stops; the scientist gets out of the truck, opens a hatch, and looks at it. He says that he wants a more controlled area for the testing. Newkirk goes back to camp, but Schultz, Corporal Klaus, and two dogs are searching the area. Schultz sits on a tree stump, which happens to be the tunnel entrance that Newkirk needs. Newkirk, in black face paint, comes up behind Schultz and gives him a light for his cigarette. After a couple of seconds, Schultz realizes that this is Newkirk, outside the camp. Schultz says that he has to report an attempted escape. Newkirk tells Schultz that he also has to report LeBeau, who is over in the woods (but is actually not there). Schultz goes to get LeBeau. After he walks away, Newkirk goes down the tree stump tunnel entrance. Schultz comes back and does not find Newkirk. Schultz does not know what to make of it; 'I say nothing'.
In the barracks, Newkirk comes up from the tunnel entrance under the bunk. Hogan says that he was gone 12 hours, and wants to know what happened. Newkirk tells the men about the remote-controlled tank that he saw. Just then, Hogan and Kinchloe see a truck come into camp, towing a trailer with a small tank on it. Officers get out the truck and go to Klink's office, and give him an order from General Burkhalter. They ask for a building to use, and Klink gives them building 12. Klink asks Schultz what is in building 12; Schultz replies powdered eggs, milk, beer, and other things. Klink says to move them out for the tank.
Hogan asks Kinch for stationary to write on. Kinch opens a hollowed-out log pile and says that he has many types. He picks one with German letterhead. Hogan asks Kinch to take a letter. There will be a contest for the best-kept POW camp. Who should sign the letter? Newkirk suggests General Nuissance. So Hogan says to sign the letter General Von Nuissance of the POW Administration. Hogan tells Carter to volunteer for housecleaning duty, so he can plant the letter. He tells the men that they need to dig a tunnel to building 12.
Later, In Klink's office, Carter is dusting some things, Schultz is sitting by the credenza. Schultz asks for cigars. Carter puts the letter on Klink's desk while dusting; he keeps dusting, and starts dusting Schultz. Klink opens a letter (the one that Carter planted) and tells Schultz to get Hogan. Schultz leave, and takes Carter out with him.
Hogan goes to Klink's office. Klink tells about a beautification plan, and wants Hogan's help. Hogan asks for favors. including having the guards to stop stealing coffee from their packages. Klink grants the requests.
The prisoners start digging a tunnel to building 12. Five prisoners are bringing dirt out of the tunnel under the bunk in buckets and passing it to a window, where it is dumped into a wheelbarrow being pushed by Carter. LeBeau, on the lookout, says that Schultz is coming. The window is closed fast, and Carter takes the wheelbarrow into the barracks and closes the door. Schultz talks to LeBeau about the flower that he planted; LeBeau eventually wants to cook it. Later. Kinch, LeBeau, and Newkirk come to Hogan all dirty, and report that the tunnel to building 12 is almost done. Hogan says that they will go in at lunch tomorrow.
Klink gets a phone call from Burkhalter, who is coming the day after tomorrow. Burkhalter talks to the major in charge of the tank that was brought in, and the major hangs up. Klink says that the major forgot to say 'Heil Hitler'.
Down in the tunnel, Carter shows Hogan the bomb that he made for the tank. Newkirk, LeBeau, and Kinch say that the tunnel to building 12 is done.
The next day, three prisoners are on the lookout. The first one signals the second by raising his cap; the second signals the third by raising his cap; the third says 'Geronimo' down the tunnel. Hogan, Newkirk, Kinch, and LeBeau go up the tunnel into building 12 to look at the tank; LeBeau watches the door. Kinch takes pictures of the inside of the tank. He finds the control box. Hogan tells him to remove it. LeBeau sees Burkhalter and others coming into camp; they look towards building 12. The Germans start walking toward building 12, Burkhalter, one other general, and two other officers. Hogan says that there is no time to re-install the control box, so he tells Kinch to take the control box down the tunnel with him. He then puts LeBeau inside the tank, as he is the only one small enough to fit. The Germans come into building 12 and talk about the tank. Burkhalter says that there will be a test in 20 minutes; the major says that he needs to check the tank before the test.
Hogan goes outside into the compound from the barracks, followed by Schultz. He meets Burkhalter and Klink. Burkhalter says to let Hogan watch; the tank may be top secret, but Hogan is not going anywhere. The scientist is at the controls (thinking he is controlling the tank). Burkhalter gives directions; Hogan repeats them loud so LeBeau, inside the tank, can hear. The tank turns one way, and then the other. Burkhalter wants the tank to maneuver in a limited area; Hogan suggests between the barracks. Burkhalter agrees, and he gives the orders for the tank to go between the buildings; Hogan repeats the orders. LeBeau drives the tank between the barracks and stops. He is tired and sweating; he is pulled out by Kinch and two others. Carter plants the bomb, puts the tank into drive, and closes the door. The tank comes out from between the barracks, and fires a shot. Hogan, Klink, Burkhalter, and the others run for cover. The tank fires two more shots (three in total) and starts maneuvering. Burkhalter's driver moves the staff car as it is in the way of the tank; the tank follows the car. The tank runs into the staff car and explodes. What appears is a pile of junk that resembles what used to be a car with a German flag on top. Hogan says 'Well fellas, it's back to the old drawing board'.
At the end, Hogan says that the pictures came out fine; Newkirk says that they are going to London by the Underground. Newkirk, LeBeau, Carter, Kinch, and 3 other prisoners are digging a trench by the barracks, supervised by Hogan. Klink tells Hogan that Burkhalter called and wants Klink to pay for his wrecked staff car. Hogan tells the men to keep digging. For how long? Until Kinch types up a letter from the POW Administration canceling the beautification contest. The men drop their shovels and walk off.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content