Sheriff Kirk: [he and Delvecchio are detaining Fonz in his "office"] All right, Fonzarelli, assume the position, and don't try any funny business.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [putting his hands against the wall] All right. But if you tickle me, I'm gonna slap your face.
[Delvecchio laughs; Kirk starts searching the Fonz]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [pretending to read the wall] Eileen Kirk...
Sheriff Kirk: That's my daughter's name! What's my daughter's name doing on that wall?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Oh, I'm just kidding. It ain't up there. It's in the yellow pages.
[Delvecchio laughs]
Sheriff Kirk: [to Delvecchio] Ten-hut!
[Delvecchio stands at attention. Kirk feels something in the pocket of Fonz's jacket]
Sheriff Kirk: What's that in your pocket?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Oh, yeah. That's just...
Sheriff Kirk: Just reach in there with two fingers, Fonzarelli. And bring it out slowly. Watch him, Al.
Al Delvecchio: I will.
Sheriff Kirk: [chuckles] Well, well, well. Carrying a concealed weapon: the switchblade.
Al Delvecchio: I never would've believed it.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Yeah, Well, well, well. You caught me with the goods, didn't you, huh?
Sheriff Kirk: Yes, we did, Fonzarelli. And you're gonna spend a little time in the big house.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Yeah, yeah, that's cool. 'Cause I'm gonna be the first man locked up for carrying a concealed comb.
[flicks the knife open to reveal a comb instead of a blade]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: You see, Kirk, knives ain't cool, but combs are. Huh? Yeah.
Richie Cunningham: [entering the bathroom] I gotta wash my hands!
Sheriff Kirk: Get out of here, Cunningham!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Hey, wait a minute. When did washing hands become against the law?
Sheriff Kirk: All right, you got away with it this time. But mark my words, I'm gonna run you out of town.
Richie Cunningham: What did Fonzie do wrong?
Sheriff Kirk: I don't like the way he looks.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: I'm hurt.
Sheriff Kirk: And I don't like the way he dresses.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Hey, just for that, I'm gonna date your daughter.
Sheriff Kirk: I'm gonna nail you, Fonzarelli. I'm gonna stick to you like glue. I'm gonna know every move you make.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Hey, that's great. Maybe you're gonna learn something.
[Kirk walks toward the door]
Al Delvecchio: I'm sorry, Fonz.
Sheriff Kirk: AL! MOVE IT OUT! Do I have to stand here all day waiting for you?
[he and Al leave. Fonz kicks the stall doors]
Richie Cunningham: You bugged, Fonz? After all those jokes you were cracking?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: He is pushing me. I can't let him see that. But he is pushing me. I can't let him get away with that.
Richie Cunningham: Well, don't worry Fonz. Because I'm on your side. He's gone too far. And I'm gonna do something about this.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: All right. Just don't get yourself in trouble.
Richie Cunningham: No, no! I'm really steamed! And this calls for drastic action! I'M WRITING A LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF THE MILWAUKEE JOURNAL!
[leaves the bathroom]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: That kid is a savage.
