Gilmore Girls (TV Series)
Twenty-One Is the Loneliest Number (2005)
Lauren Graham: Lorelai Gilmore
Photos
Quotes
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Richard : She's having sex, Lorelai. She's having sex under my roof. I paid $40,000 to redecorate her sex house. I bought her a sex mattress. Her sex box springs. I provided everything she needs to waste her life.
Lorelai : Dad, Rory having sex is not your fault. Really, she was having sex way before the big renovation.
Richard : I feel so much better now.
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Lorelai : Rory called.
Luke : I know! She called and yelled at me!
Lorelai : No, she called and yelled at me.
Luke : Yeah, but I'm the one who had to hear it. And she was loud! And she said "hell"; I never heard her say "hell", I didn't even know she knew how to say "hell". She was mad and she yelled and she said "hell".
Lorelai : [smiling] Yeah, but she called.
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Lorelai : [about Rory's 21st birthday] We had plans.
Luke : What?
Lorelai : We were gonna go to Atlantic City. We were gonna sit at a blackjack table at 11:59, we were gonna order martinis, and we were gonna be playing 21 when she turned twenty-one. And then hopefully we'd win, and we'd take our winnings and we'd buy 21 things. And then there was a thing about 21 guys that wouldn't really be appropriate anymore since the engagement, but it was a good plan. She probably doesn't even remember the plan.
Luke : She remembers the plan.
Lorelai : It wasn't like we talked about it every day. It was just something we thought of.
Luke : She remembers the plan.
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Lorelai : [Explaining her Halloween plans] I want to do a skit.
Luke : Skit?
Lorelai : Yes, I want to be a mad scientist. I'm gonna come out in a blood-stained white lab coat and freaky makeup and big, giant, Don King kind of hairdo, and I'm going to turn the whole front yard into my laboratory.
Luke : Wow.
Lorelai : Yes, I'm gonna have a huge electric chair and an operating table and test tubes and wires.
Luke : Sounds elaborate.
Lorelai : But you haven't heard the half of it, okay? And so I come out and I do mad scientist "banter", like, "Hey, who here is from Bellevue?" and "'Girl Interrupted'? Now that's my idea of a feel-good movie". I'll work on it. But anyway, after that, I'm gonna drag you out.
Luke : WHAT?
Lorelai : You're strapped in an electric chair, and I'm gonna throw the switch and totally electrocute you. And you're flailing around. We'll rig something where smoke and sparks shoot out of your nose. And then once you're dead, I'll throw you onto the operating table and I'll cut you open, and I pull link sausages out of you and throw them into the crowd.
Luke : That's it?
Lorelai : Well, I mean, we can take a bow or something, but, yeah, that's it.
Luke : Okay. Uh, just a couple of questions here. Once you've electrocuted me, and I'm dead, um, how exactly do I get to the operating table?
Lorelai : Huh. Good question. Maybe I can position the operating table like right near the electric chair so I can just flop you over onto it after you die.
Luke : Okay, let's say we work that out. Now I'm on the table. You're gonna cut me open with what?
Lorelai : A big, rusty saw.
Luke : And then you're gonna pull link sausages out of me.
Lorelai : Real slow and creepy like.
Luke : Okay, great. Last question. Uh, what are the odds of you getting me to do a skit where you electrocute me, cut me open, and pull link sausages out of me? 'Cause I'm thinking they're right up there with Pia Zadora making a big comeback.
