- Lorelai Gilmore: [to Emily and Richard] Are you two completely out of your minds? There's a ceremony going on in there! Young girls in ugly dresses and stupid fans are parading around in circles for god knows what reason, and you two are ruining it!
- [Emily's new maid has just served tea]
- Sunny: Another new one, Emily?
- Emily Gilmore: Yes. The last one only made it through one evening. Thoroughly nervous creature.
- Natalie Swope: What do you do to them, Em?
- Emily Gilmore: Oh, the usual. "Clean this, cook that, sacrifice a virgin on your way out."
- Luke Danes: [notices Jess's creepy Metallica shirt in the diner] What the hell is that?
- Jess Mariano: What?
- Luke Danes: That?
- Jess Mariano: That is a shirt.
- Luke Danes: Change.
- Jess Mariano: [sarcastically] What?
- Luke Danes: Go upstairs and change your shirt.
- Jess Mariano: But I like this shirt.
- Luke Danes: How can you like that shirt?
- Jess Mariano: It brings out my eyes.
- Luke Danes: Hey, part of the deal of you staying here is that you work here, and when you work here, you will wear proper work attire and that is not proper work attire now go upstairs and change into something that won't scare the hell out of my customers!
- Jess Mariano: Whatever you say, Uncle Luke.
- Luke Danes: So... back from the ball, huh?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Yes, I left behind a glass slipper and a business card in case the prince is really dumb.
- Luke Danes: Good and desperate thinking.