Get Smart (TV Series)
Kisses for KAOS (1966)
Don Adams: Maxwell Smart
Photos
Quotes
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Chief of Control : [on phone] I hope you're not in Lovers Lane by yourself, it could draw attention to you.
Maxwell Smart : [on steering wheel phone] Don't worry Chief, I have my Inflato-Girl with me.
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Agent 99 : [Maxwell, posing as 99's butler, places a bowl of soup with a hidden camera in front of Savage] Try the soup, Rex, I think you'll like it.
Savage : What kind is it?
Maxwell Smart : Cream of Technicolor.
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Maxwell Smart : You'll never get away with this, Savage!
Savage : Oh, why Mr. Smart?
Maxwell Smart : Because, at this very minute, 25 CONTROL agents are converging on this building. Would you believe it? 25 CONTROL agents!
Savage : I find that hard to beleive.
Maxwell Smart : Would you believe 2 squad cars and a motorcycle cop?
Savage : I don't think so.
Maxwell Smart : How about a vicious street cleaner and a toothless police dog?
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Savage : [addressing #99] Good evening. I'd be honored to offer my assistance to someone so attractive.
Maxwell Smart : Why thank you, but it's the lady who's interested in buying a painting.
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Maxwell Smart : They think just because we're on the side of good that we're soft. But what they don't know is that we're tough and hard and do a very nice job.
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Maxwell Smart : Hello, Chief? Max. I'm in Lover's Lane. Listen, Chief, before I fill you in, I want you to give a message to Parker at the lab. Tell him there are a few adjustments needed on the steering wheel phone. Every time I turn the corner, I dial the operator.
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Agent 99 : Max, look at that Modern sculpture. It's made out of a dented hubcap, rusted fender, tin cans, nuts and bolts and a bicycle chain.
Maxwell Smart : Yes, he's given us man's eternal struggle against the universe out of a pile of junk.
Agent 99 : What's it called?
Maxwell Smart : [reading a placard] "A Pile of Junk".
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Maxwell Smart : [the intelligence report by way of a top secret relay rock proves inconclusive] Well, either our boys are lying down on the job, or this rock is a forgery.
Agent 99 : No, that's the official Control rock, Max. Look.
Maxwell Smart : Oh yes, our name and address is on it.
Maxwell Smart : [reads inscription] If found drop in any mailbox.