- Kimmy Gibbler: Mr. Tanner, have you ever considered obedience school?
- Danny Tanner: Yes, and tell your parents I'm willing to pay half!
- Danny Tanner: I think the two of you should try to put yourselves in the other person's shoes... or paws. This is very simple. Friends deserve a fair hearing. And valuables should always be kept out of reach. So Stephanie, next time Comet has an idea, you have to hear him out. And Jessie, if you just leave your advertising laying around the house, there's a good chance Joey's gonna chew it up.
- Stacey Fleetwood: Joey, do your Roseanne Barr impersonation.
- Joey: [Roseanne voice] Well I can't do it now, the kids are playing in the garbage disposal. You have any idea how much it'll cost to fix that thing? Got a doughnut?