Full House (TV Series)
Cutting It Close (1988)
John Stamos: Jesse Katsopolis
Photos
Quotes
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Jesse Katsopolis : Tell the little rugrat she's wacko.
Daniel 'Danny' Tanner : You tell the little rugrat she's wacko! But in a nicer way.
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Jesse Katsopolis : Look at me, I'm a professional bike rider, I never had ONE problem, I miss ONE little sign, BOOM, I'm the mummy man. And what about you, how many pretend haircuts have you given?
Steph : Including yours...
[counts on her fingers]
Steph : Millions.
Jesse Katsopolis : See? You just made one mistake.
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Jesse Katsopolis : Hey babe.
Steph : Hey.
Jesse Katsopolis : You can come closer.
Steph : [takes two steps] I better not
[doubles back]
Steph : I'm dangerous, that's why you hate me.
Jesse Katsopolis : Stephanie Judith Tanner, I do NOT hate you.
Steph : Then why are you yelling and grouchy and telling Daddy to slam doors?
Jesse Katsopolis : Because I'm frustrated! I... I've been feeling sorry for myself.
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Jesse Katsopolis : [tries eating cereal with a long wooden spoon, winds up throwing it, Michelle grins] Michelle, if you thought that was funny, you're gonna love this.
[sticks his head in the bowl to eat, Danny comes down, looks up]
Jesse Katsopolis : What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a grown man eat cereal before?
Danny Tanner : Not like a Great Dane.
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Jesse Katsopolis : [coming down the back stairs] Danny! Open the back door!
Daniel 'Danny' Tanner : Got it!
Jesse Katsopolis : Open the back door!
Daniel 'Danny' Tanner : Got it!
[opens it]
Jesse Katsopolis : [steps out] Slam it!
[Danny does]
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Daniel 'Danny' Tanner : [Jesse's kicking the ruins of his bike] Am I interrupting something?
Jesse Katsopolis : I don't want to talk about it, I'd leave but my arms can't reach the gate hook.
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Danny Tanner : [Jesse's edging a bowl off the shelf with his teeth] Let me give you a hand.
Jesse Katsopolis : Do I look like a guy who needs a hand?
[sticks his head under the bowl and wears it over to the table]
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D.J. Tanner : Steph, you're the only one not helping!
Stephanie Tanner : I can't help! I can't go near Uncle Jesse, I don't want to break him again.
Jesse Katsopolis : Steph, you didn't break your uncle Jesse.
Stephanie Tanner : I only scalped him, wrecked his motorcycle and broke both his arms!
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Daniel 'Danny' Tanner : Jesse, what happened to you?
Jesse Katsopolis : Well, thanks to Mr. Stephanie's pretend haircut, I was forced to get a real one. As I was leaving the parking lot I was so mad that I didn't see this tiny little sign that said 'Severe Tire Damage'.
[pityingly]
Jesse Katsopolis : My bike was totaled. Next thing I know, concrete arms.