- Barry Farber: About a month ago, I wanted to hurt you more than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life - and I'm an orthodontist.
- Ross: Hey, this people are pros, they know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done
- Judy Geller: [re runaway bride Rachel] Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar.
- Monica Geller: What's that supposed to mean?
- Judy Geller: Nothing. It's an expression.
- Monica Geller: No, it's not.
- Jack Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent and you always have been. Even when you were a kid, and you were chubby and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you'd read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
- [later]
- Jack Geller: There are people, like Ross, who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are. I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. They're happy with what they have, they're basically content, like... cows.
- Chandler Bing: Oh, I think this is the episode of "Three's Company" where there's some kind of misunderstanding.
- Phoebe Buffay: [turning off the TV] Oh. Then I've already seen this one.
- Joey Tribbiani: [sonogram on hospital monitor] What are we supposed to be looking at?
- Chandler Bing: I don't know, but I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
- Judy Geller: [tasting Monica's cooking] Oh! What's that curry taste?
- Monica Geller: Curry.
- Judy Geller: Mm!
- [first lines]
- Monica Geller: What you guys don't understand is that, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
- Joey Tribbiani: [with derision] Yeah, right...! Seriously?
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh, yeah!
- Rachel Green: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
- Monica Geller: Absolutely.
- Chandler Bing: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like the comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
- Ross: Yeah, and - and it's *not* like we don't *like* the comedian, it's just that - that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
- Chandler Bing: You see, the problem is though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again. And we're all fighting traffic, basically just trying to stay awake.
- Rachel Green: Yeah, well, word of advice. Bring back the comedian, otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home listening to that album *alone.*
- Ross: [at the museum, where he's fixing the display] You look great. I, uh, I hate that.
- Carol Willick: Sorry. Thanks. You look good too.
- Ross: Yeah, well, you know, anyone in here who... stands erect...
- [probably not a good term to use around Carol]
- Ross: So, what's new? Still, uh...?
- Carol Willick: A lesbian?
- Ross: Well...
- [she nods]
- Ross: You never know. But, uhm, how's the family?
- Carol Willick: [scoffs] Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and...
- Ross: Why - why are you here, Carol?
- Carol Willick: I'm pregnant.
- Ross: [taken aback] Pregnant?