Plot

The gang make (and break) a pact not to bring dates to their New Years Eve party. Phoebe starts dating a scientist. Ross compensates for his loneliness by getting a monkey.

Ross is tired of living alone but doesn't want a roommate at his age so he adopts the capucin monkey Marcel. Marcel is cute in everybody's eyes, except cleaning freak Monica who returns little of the monkey's love. With Paolo about to return to Rome, it looks like New Year's Eve will see the friends desperate for someone to kiss at midnight, so Chandler launches a pact for them all not to kiss anyone. However, Rachel learns Paolo can be back early, Monica asks her ex Fun Bobby and Chandler invites his hellish ex Janice. Joey met a single mother shopping, so Ross fears to be the only single left after Phoebe hooks up with scientist David.—KGF Vissers

It is almost New Years and lonely Ross adopts capucin monkey Marcel. All the friends adore Marcel - except Monica. The friends agree not to bring dates to the New Year's Eve party, however everyone but Ross breaks the promise. However, things go wrong again; amongst all of the madness, Joey kisses Chandler at midnight.—Angie

In order to curb his loneliness after his divorce, Ross adopts a Capuchin monkey he's named Marcel (Monica doesn't like monkeys in her apartment). Things start off on rocky footing - Marcel seems rebellious and unwilling to listen to Ross. However, Chandler bonds with him almost immediately. Monica continues to have trouble with Marcel as he plays with her spatulas. But Ross didn't want to leave Marcel alone as they are not getting along (Ross said some things and Marcel flung some feces).

Phoebe sings 13 new songs she's written - 12 about her mother's suicide, one about a snowman (that ends up being about her mother's suicide). During her set, she's interrupted by two scientists arguing about the most beautiful woman they've ever seen. She goes to confront them, and finds out that one of them - David (Hank Azaria) - thinks that she is the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. His partner, Max, begs to differ and says that title belongs to Daryl Hannah. Phoebe and David begin dating. David wants to kiss Phoebe, by sweeping everything off the table and taking her right then and there. But he carefully removes the laptop and the expensive microscope before sweeping the table and kissing Phoebe.

With New Year's fast approaching, the gang decides to make a no-date pact, which they all break: Phoebe brings David (as she really likes David and wants to spend as much as possible with him), Rachel plans to bring Paolo, Monica invites old boyfriend Fun Bobby (Vincent Ventresca), Joey asks Sandy (a single mom he meets while working as one of Santa's elves at the mall), Ross brings Marcel, and Chandler snaps and asks Janice (Maggie Wheeler). meanwhile Ross is getting nowhere with Marcel, meanwhile Chandler is having a blast with him. Marcel is even doing a juggling thing with balled up socks for Chandler, that makes Ross jealous.

The six friends end up keeping their no-date pact after all. Phoebe learns that David has gotten a grant to study in Minsk for three years, and convinces him to go (when Max decides that he will go alone, after David says that he cannot break up with Phoebe). Paolo has missed his flight, and Rachel gets attacked outside of the airport by a woman who thinks Rachel has stolen her cab. Fun Bobby is depressed because his grandfather has just died. Sandy not only brings her kids to the party (Joey is thrown of his game as he cant do dirty stuff in front of the kids), but she hooks up with Max. Chandler breaks up with Janice, when reminded just how irritating she can be. Janice warns Chandler that one of these times is going to be his last chance with her. Marcel continues to ignore Ross and he feels bad about it.

At midnight, Phoebe is too sad to kiss anyone, Rachel's lip was cut in the attack so she can't kiss anyone, and Monica doesn't feel like kissing anybody. Chandler demands someone kiss him anyway - so Joey obliges.