- Phoebe Buffay: [to the people in Central Perk] If you wanna receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
- Phoebe Buffay: [singing] I found you in my bed, how you wind up there, you are a mystery, little black curly hair
- [Ross seems disturbed]
- Phoebe Buffay: Little black curly hair, little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair.
- Phoebe Buffay: Hey, so what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
- Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, that. Uhm, she took it really well.
- Phoebe Buffay: Huh! You didn't tell her, did you?
- Dr. Ross Geller: No.
- Phoebe Buffay: Of course not, because you're in love with her.
- Dr. Ross Geller: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out, so I didn't tell her we were still married 'cause she'd only get more upset, I just comforted her, as a friend.
- Phoebe Buffay: What do you mean, 'comforted her'?
- Dr. Ross Geller: It was nothing, I gave her a hug.
- Phoebe Buffay: Ah ha! A classic sign of love, the hug.
- Dr. Ross Geller: it's also a sign of friendship.
- Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, not in your case, Lovey Loverson.
- Dr. Ross Geller: It was a hug, okay? A simple hug. I was a friend being a friend to a friend.
- Phoebe Buffay: Use the word 'friend' more. Just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
- Dr. Ross Geller: Smell her hair? What if I did?
- Phoebe Buffay: Ninety percent of a woman's pheromones come at the top of her head. That's why women are shorter, so that men will fall in love when they hug them. Come on, Ross, you're a scientist.
- Dr. Ross Geller: I was hugging her as a friend, it's not my fault her hair got in my face, she's got a lot of it, and it smells all coconutty
- [Phoebe gives him an incredulous stare]
- Dr. Ross Geller: . What? Oh, it doesn't mean I've feelings for Rachel, maybe it means I've feelings for coconuts.
- Phoebe Buffay: Okay, whatever you say, but just be careful, alright? Rachel's not in the same place you are.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Okay, if the place you're referring to is being in love, then she *is* in the same place as me, because I am *not* in that place.
- Phoebe Buffay: I didn't understand that. But, you know, maybe that's 'cause you were speaking the secret language of *love*.
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