Friends (TV Series)
The One with Rachel's Other Sister (2002)
Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing
Photos
Quotes
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Ross : Hey, dude, are you okay? Sorry about before.
Chandler Bing : No, that's okay. You're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings, and I want you to know that if I die you don't get Joey.
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Chandler : So, if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Ross : [looks down] No, that... that is not what we're saying.
Joey : Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.
Chandler : Well, what is wrong with me? Am I... Am I incompetent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
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Rachel Green : [Emma cries] She needs changing.
Chandler Bing : Oh no no, I'll get her. I am super competent, totally responsible, and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there, Emma, just let me get my trusty diaper bag.
Chandler Bing : [accidentally knocks over a chair, spilling the box with the good china, smashing them to pieces] Well, what do you know? I guess I'll be the one that dies first.
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Monica : [Chandler is setting the table with the good china] Careful... careful... CAREFUL!
Chandler Bing : I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise.
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Amy : Ok, how about this? If you guys die, and the crazy plate lady dies then do I get the baby?
Chandler Bing : No, if crazy plate lady... if Monica dies then I would get Emma, right?
Rachel : Well, actually...
Chandler Bing : Actually, what?
Ross : It's just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents.
Chandler Bing : What?
Amy : [to Chandler] Hurts, doesn't it?
Joey : Who has to die for me to get her?
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Chandler Bing : So, if Monica's not around I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Ross : No, that is not what we are saying
[looks down]
Ross : .
Joey : Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.
Chandler Bing : Well, what is wrong with me? Am I incompetent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you.
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Chandler Bing : You know, I can talk to the producers for you, I'm a great liar. Take Monica's dress, I said I loved it, I *hate* it.
Monica : Hey!
Chandler Bing : I'm also a great moron.