James Avery credited as playing...
Philip Banks
- Will Smith: Okay, Uncle Phil, the other night when I dropped off Wendy, I ran into Janice. She wanted to talk about the quake, so I went into her room. Then she said she wanted to slip into something more comfortable. Then we was talking and she showed me some pictures of San, San... .something and before I knew it... Tadow!
- Philip Banks: Tadow?
- Will Smith: Taaa-DOW!
- Philip Banks: Taaa-d... oh, OOOH! YOU SLEPT WITH JANICE!
- [Everyone outside reacts with shock]
- Ashley Banks: [imitating Philip] Ashley, go to your room!
- Carlton Banks: Oh, I love this!
- Ashley Banks: [still imitating Philip] And take Carlton with you!
- Carlton Banks: Hey, I'm not going anywhere!
- Philip Banks: You heard what I said!
- Will Smith: I'm 19 years old and I have made some mistakes.
- Philip Banks: Yeah, I'm 45 and I make them too. The secret is to learn from them.
- Will Smith: Yeah, I learned my lesson. From now on I'm only dating girls with ugly moms.
- Janice Robertson: [to Phillip] Too bad. We could have had something special.
- Philip Banks: I have something special.
- [looks at Vivian]
- Philip Banks: Do you know what it's like to go after a girl and not get her?
- Will Smith: No.
- Philip Banks: Well, finally after two years, I learned that Janice was never going to have me so, I settled for Vivian.
- [Vivian walks in and hears, then storms upstairs]
- Philip Banks: Oh no! With Vivian, with Vivian, sweetheart that came out wrong, honey! Honey! Baby?
- [Geoffrey walks in]
- Will Smith: Geoffrey, prepare Mr. Banks' couch.