Frasier (TV Series)
Whine Club (2000)
David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane
Photos
Quotes
-
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, it's a shame Mel had to leave.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh yeah, you know, we were having such a good time.
Martin : Yes, Niles.
Dr. Niles Crane : You know, I was nervous bringing her over here.
[Frasier and Niles sit down on the couch as Martin sits in his recliner]
Dr. Niles Crane : Actually, I was concerned what you'd think, you know, getting to really know her for the first time. So?
Roz : [Before Frasier or Martin can answer] Ooh, I'm going to go let Eddie in.
[Roz heads for the balcony]
Dr. Niles Crane : Come on, seriously, I want you to be totally honest. Tell me, what do you think of Mel?
Daphne Moon : [entering from the kitchen while waiting on the phone] Oh, I don't like her at all, she's bossy and fussy and mean. She's all wrong for you.
[into phone]
Daphne Moon : Yes, I need a large pepperoni pizza, and some cheese bread!
[Niles is alarmed by Daphne's comments as she heads back to the kitchen]
Martin : I'm sure she didn't mean that, Niles.
[Martin follows Daphne into kitchen]
Dr. Niles Crane : [recovering] Well, that was startling.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, well, don't take that seriously, Niles. You know how women sometimes just form irrational dislikes for one another.
Roz : [returning from the balcony] Oh, that's great, I leave the room for one second and you rat me out.
Dr. Frasier Crane : No, Roz...
Roz : [pouring herself another Bloody Mary] No, it's okay, I don't have anything to hide and I'm not irrational. She's pushy, demanding and a gigantic pain in the ass! I'd dump her like radioactive waste.
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, so that's two of you in the Anti-Mel camp
Roz : [to Frasier] Oh, did you tell him what you thought of Mel too?
Dr. Frasier Crane : No, Daphne did.
Roz : Oops.
[Roz heads for the kitchen]
Dr. Niles Crane : Frasier?
Dr. Frasier Crane : I just think she's Maris all over again, she's manipulative... I think you're repeating a terrible pattern.
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, isn't this neat? We all have our individual reasons for disliking her.
[he looks up to see Martin returning from the kitchen with Daphne]
Dr. Niles Crane : Hey, Dad, what's your reason for disliking Mel?
Daphne Moon : [to Martin] So you did tell him what you think of her and after shoving me into the kitchen and shaking your freakin' finger at me!
Martin : She's crazy, Niles, I don't know what she's talking about...
Dr. Niles Crane : [getting up from the couch to get his coat] No, no, that's all right, Dad. I, er, I asked you all to be honest and you were. I got my answer. You know what would have been nice? Is if one of you could have found one nice thing to say about her.
[Niles exits and slams the door behind him in disgust. Frasier, Roz, Daphne and Martin look around in guilt for a few moments]
Daphne Moon : She does have that X-ray vision.
-
Dr. Niles Crane : Prepare to be stomped like a late harvest Gewurztraminer!
-
Mel : Oh, Frasier, I almost forgot. The corkmaster and I brought this along for you.
[Mel hands a bottle of wine to Frasier]
Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, well, thank you very much, that's a lovely bottle. I guess Niles must have told you about his eleventh hour victory.
Mel : Oh, yes, and I'm so proud of him.
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, let's give credit where credit's due, to Mel.
[they kiss]
Dr. Frasier Crane : [surprised] To Mel?
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, yes, it was her idea that I should run.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Really? Well, perhaps I'll just put this around the corner before the cork flies out and hits someone.
[Frasier goes to put the wine bottle away]
-
Corkmaster : Gentlemen?
Dr. Niles Crane : It was jammy, plummy, dense and chewy. There is no doubt in my mind that it was a Napa Valley Merlot.
[holds up card]
Corkmaster : You, Frasier.
Dr. Frasier Crane : A nice big wine with excellent heft. It's Napa all right, but as I always say, why go Merlot when you can call a Cab?
[holds up card]
