- Dr. Frasier Crane: [Frasier shouts to the clerk as Niles scuttles him out of the bookstore] You know, by the way, you have an alphabetical misfile, but I'm not telling you where!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I'm previewing a new Benjamin Locklear exhibit and then I'm having dinner with the artist afterward. Promises to be a very exciting evening!
- Daphne Moon: And what lucky lady are you sharing it with?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I'm going alone.
- Daphne Moon: Oh, I'm sorry.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, don't be. Truth is, I'm a pretty terrific date. I know when to arrive, I know when to call it a night, and frankly, I always leave myself wanting more.
- [He exits, smiling]
- Roz Doyle: Is Frasier here? I need him to approve the latest version of his bio.
- Dr. Niles Crane: [taking it from Roz] Why does he keep updating his bio? What's changed in the last few years.
- [reading]
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, his date of birth! He's now four years younger than I am.
- Daphne Moon: [Daphne and Roz want to set Frasier up on a date] No, we should go with my person first. You don't have the best track record.
- Roz Doyle: Me? Whenever you've set me up with guys, I knew they were losers the second I saw them. They turned out to be bad in bed, too.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Yes, even though he's expressed no dissatisfaction with his love life whatsoever, these two have decided to make it their mission to find him a mate.
- Martin Crane: It's not a bad idea. It's been a long time since Frasier was excited about someone. I kind of miss that spring in his step, you know. The nervous energy he gets where every first date might be "the one." The electricity of that 30-point self-inspection before he rolls out of the showroom.
- Roz Doyle: Frasier knows pretty much everything there is to know about wine.
- [exuberantly, selling again]
- Roz Doyle: Tell us some things about wine, Frasier!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [teasing Roz] Sometimes you have to know when to put a cork in it.
- Susanna: I do not need to be insulted by someone who buys art because it matches his bedspread!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: It's a *duvet* and you're delusional!
- Susanna: Dilettante!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Forger!
- Susanna: Man who uses the word "duvet!"
- Martin Crane: Now, there's this gal in the building where I work...
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [interrupting] Dad, Dad. You're not proposing another blind date?
- Martin Crane: Now, she's a beautiful young lawyer, and she couldn't be nicer.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I am *not* interested.
- Martin Crane: Now, don't say that. You've got to see her!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Dad...
- Martin Crane: Frasier, listen to me.
- [suggestively]
- Martin Crane: You've *got* to see her!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [giving in] A young lawyer, you say?
- [last lines]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh... say, uh, do you play pool?
- Lisa: [finding the question strange] No.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [beguiled] Neither do I. Hi, my name is Frasier.
- Lisa: [He offers his hand. Lisa takes it]
- [equally delighted]
- Lisa: Hi!
- Dr. Niles Crane: But he says he's happy!
- Daphne Moon: Isn't that what you would have said too before your brother helped bring us together?
- Dr. Niles Crane: That's my point exactly, let's start calling babes!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Um, say, uh, don't you have a coat? It's kind of cold outside.
- Lisa: I just got spray paint on mine. I wanted to get it cleaned as soon as possible.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Did you put seltzer on it?
- Lisa: Of course.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You know a lot of people mistakenly use...
- Dr. Frasier Crane, Lisa: Lemon juice.
- Lisa: [They laugh] Which never works.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: No. No, and it attracts bees.
- Lisa: I did not know that.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I'm not exactly certain that it attracts bees, but, I mean, um, it does make sense, doesn't it?
- Lisa: Not really, but you say it with such authority, I bought it.
- Daphne Moon: [Looking for a date for Frasier] What about Jennifer? She's pretty, smart, she has those perky breasts...
- Dr. Niles Crane: I wouldn't call them perky so much as... I don't remember Jennifer.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Ooh, there's a little tear in the cover. Would you get me another copy?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Good heavens, Niles, what am I, your lackey?
- Dr. Niles Crane: No, no, no, I-I'm just engrossed in this book, "Heroes of Nahz-KAR."
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Maybe he did copy you. Maybe he got his inspiration one evening when he was out bowling a few frames!
- Martin Crane: What's going on out here?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I let Roz set me up on a blind date with one of her friends.
- Martin Crane: Oh, big waste of time, huh?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, there's pie.
- Martin Crane: Home made?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yup.
- Martin Crane: Cherry?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Key Lime.
- Martin Crane: I can live with that.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I wish I'd never let Roz set me up on that date.
- Martin Crane: Well, you can't hit the ball unless you take a swing.