Frasier (TV Series)

The Impossible Dream (1996)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• [Frasier is having doubts about his sexuality] 

  Frasier : I was sensitive as a child; I didn't go in for sports. God, it's every cliche in the book. Surely it must have occurred to you at some point? You refused to take me to see "West Side Story" on my eighth birthday.

  Martin : Well, because of the gangs. That's scary for kids.

  Frasier : Even gangs that dance?

  Martin : Especially gangs that dance!

• Daphne Moon : [to Martin in a conspiratorial tone]  Someone followed me again last night.

  Martin : Ah, you're just being paranoid.

  Daphne Moon : I'm telling you, they're onto me.

  Martin : Come on. Nobody could recognize you after all that plastic surgery.

  [the woman on the elevator with Martin and Daphne becomes alarmed at this] 

  Daphne Moon : That's what Marlena thought.

  Martin : Marlena got sloppy. She never should have gone back to Zurich.

  Daphne Moon : I just don't want any more bloodshed.

  Martin : Relax. You're home free.

  Daphne Moon : You don't know the Woodchuck and his ways.

  [the elevator doors open and the woman rushes out in fear. Martin and Daphne start laughing] 

  Daphne Moon : Oh, we're terrible!

  Martin : We are? You are! "The Woodchuck and his ways"?

  Daphne Moon : You know, we really should stop doing this. It's not nice.

  Martin : Ah, you're right. We won't do it anymore.

• [Frasier asks Martin if it ever occurred to him that his son could be gay] 

  Martin Crane : All right. Yeah... okay, yeah, I thought about it. But no, Frasier, no... I don't believe that. And you know why? Because you would have known by now. Your unconscious or whatever the hell you call it could no more have kept its yap shut than the rest of you.