- Daphne: Why, you could be standing next to a person month after month, and then the next thing you know, you're tearing each other's clothes off. There's a word for it.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Hope.
- Kate Costas: There would've been raises if you hadn't taken all the money to pay for those Armani suits!
- Frasier: Oh, what about you? Let's not overlook that pricy little Fendi scarf you're wearing!
- Kate Costas: Well, what about this designer cologne on you?
- Frasier: Well, how about those pouty lips that must have cost you a fortune in collagen injections!
- Kate Costas: These lips are mine, you arrogant gasbag!
- Frasier: You intractable despot!
- Kate Costas: Blowhard!
- Frasier: Tyrant!
- Kate Costas: Ass!
- Frasier: Shrew!
- [they grab each other and kiss passionately]
- Martin Crane: Who made the first move? You or her?
- Frasier: There was no first move. It was more like spontaneous sexual combustion.
- Martin Crane: There's always a first move. Think.
- Frasier: Allright. I was standing in front of her desk like so. She was facing me... Niles, you be Kate.
- Dr. Niles Crane: I will not.
- Frasier: Look, just stand up.
- Dr. Niles Crane: I'm *always* the girl! In every prep school play I was the girl! Guinevere, Marian the Librarian, Ado Annie. Well, no more, I'm through with it! When do I get to be Shoeless Joe from Hannibal, Mo'?
- [Martin answers the door to Niles, a nervous wreck]
- Martin Crane: Hey, Niles.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Maris found a gray hair.
- Martin Crane: Daphne, get Niles a brandy.
- Dr. Niles Crane: It was right at the apex of her widow's peak.
- Martin Crane: Better bring the bottle!
- Dr. Niles Crane: She blames me, Dad. She said it's from the stress I caused her last night when I thoughtlessly turned on the light while she was getting undressed.
- Martin Crane: Feel like a wiener, Niles?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Indeed I do.
- Frasier: Niles, this is not a party; and Dad, that is a fourteen-dollar-a-pound andouille sausage.
- Martin Crane: Wow. Means Eddie ate about thirty bucks' worth.
- Frasier: Well, it's not unheard of for a woman like you to use her feminine wiles to get what she wants.
- Kate Costas: Oh, very clever! What about you using your masculine wiles to get what you want?
- Frasier: You think my wiles are masculine?
- Kate Costas: No, I am not going down that road again.
- Frasier: 'Course you're not. Because at the end of that road is a cul-de-sac of vulnerability. That's not you, is it?
- Kate Costas: Cul-de-sac of vulnerability?
- Kate Costas: [facing all employees] Aren't you people on the clock?
- [everyone rushes away except Frasier]
- Kate Costas: Well, heigh ho, the dairy-o, the cheese stands alone.