Frasier (TV Series)
Moon Dance (1996)
David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane
Photos
Quotes
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Lacey Lloyd : [with husband] If there's anything we can do to cheer you up, just let us know.
Niles : [aside] Perhaps a murder-suicide pact.
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Dr. Niles Crane : Apparently Maris is going on a three-week cruise. Her friends threw her a bon voyage party. Look at the photo. It's Maris on the arm of Pierson Broadwater.
Daphne Moon : Oh, Dr. Crane, look! She's just standing there, barely touching him, with only the tiniest bit of a smile on her face!
Dr. Niles Crane : I know, you can practically hear the zing-zing-zing of her heartstrings!
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Lacey Lloyd : Niles, dear! How are you!
Niles : Just fine, thanks.
Lacey Lloyd : Andrew, say hello to Niles.
Andrew Lloyd : Haven't seen you for ages. Feel just terrible about you and Maris.
Lacey Lloyd : Oh yes, we were just devastated. Positively everyone's talking about it.
Niles : Oh, and how is positively everyone?
Lacey Lloyd : Devastated.
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Martin : When I was separated from your mother, there was this pretty coroner in the city morgue. I always had a bit of a crush on her. So whenever we'd find a dead body, I'd yell out, "OK boys, I'll take it from here!" So one night, I invited her down to the corner bar.
Niles : Coroners have their own bars?
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[last lines]
Daphne : [Niles is holding a woman's phone number. Daphne approaches, coat in hand] Well, are you ready?
Niles : [looking at the card] No, I don't think I am.
Daphne : [He drops it on the table] I beg your pardon?
Niles : Er, I mean yes. Uh, let's go.
Daphne : [She takes his arm, and they start to leave the room] Well, we certainly had fun tonight, didn't we?
Niles : [laughing wryly] We certainly did.
Daphne : And to think you almost didn't come to the ball! You know, it's such a shame when people let fear stop them from trying new things.
Niles : [pauses and removes Daphne's arm from his] Excuse me.
[Turning back to the table, he picks up the card, puts it in his jacket pocket, returns to Daphne's side and offers his arm. He smiles]
Niles : I'm ready now.
[They leave]
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Martin : You know, it wouldn't hurt you to go out a little bit every once in a while too.
Niles : If you're suggesting that I start dating, you can save your breath. Women don't exactly find me irresistible.
Martin : Oh, come on, Niles. You've had lots of girlfriends.
Niles : Oh, let's count. There's Maris.
[Long pause]
Niles : Oh, Dora, my childhood pen pal from Costa Rica.
[Another pause]
Niles : I seem to recall a little girl in the fourth grade who lured me to a stairwell to show me her underpants.
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Niles : This morning I spoke to Marta, my ex-maid and current mole. She reports that Broadwater is just the latest in a parade of escorts. The gigolos are swarming around Maris like ants on a Snickers bar!
Martin : Well, wait a minute, that's good news. If she's seeing a whole bunch of people, that means she's not serious about anyone.
Niles : You think?
Martin : Yeah, sure! They're probably just her escorts. You know how she loves going to parties.
Niles : Yes. And she never liked going anywhere alone. Except to bed.