Frasier (TV Series)

Frasier Grinch (1995)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• [Martin's robot santa says "Ho Ho Ho!"] 

  Martin Crane : It works when you step on the mat.

  [It says "Ho Ho Ho!" again] 

  Martin Crane : It can say "Ho, Ho, Ho", "Merry Christmas", or "Happy Holidays."

  Frasier : Yeah, well I hope it can say "Geronimo" because I'm going to throw him off the balcony!

• Martin Crane : [pulls out more Christmas decorations]  Santa's legs for the chimney! You remember these babies?

  Frasier : Oh, yes. Inspired some spectacular Christmas nightmares the year I found them under your bed.

• Martin Crane : [about the decorations]  Well, I don't care what you think; it's not for you, it's for Frederick.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : God, I suppose you're right, Dad. I used to love this stuff when I was six; by the time I was seven, I started to have questions; when I was eight, I started spending a lot more time at the Bernsteins'.

• Daphne Moon : I'm bringing Grammy Moon's famous plum duff. It's a still flour pudding boiled in a cloth bag.

  Martin Crane : Who gets to lick the bag?

  Daphne Moon : No. You see, Grammy Moon had a secret ingredient. She'd soak it for hours in rum, then ignite it in a blinding flash. As soon as she came out of the kitchen with no eyebrows, we knew dessert was ready.

  [She moves towards the door, stepping over the Santa mat] 

  Daphne Moon : You know, to this day the smell of burning hair puts me in the holiday spirit. Bye, Merry Christmas.