Shelley Long credited as playing...
Diane Chambers
- [On a getaway at a rustic cabin, Frasier imagines conversations with three of his previous loves]
- Nanette: Before Frasier sold out, we always dreamed of having a home like this - where we'd be surrounded by nature and need only the food that we grew and the shelter of each other's arms.
- Lilith: [dryly] Amazing that marriage didn't work out.
- Diane Chambers: [aside to Lilith] She was probably great in the sack.
- Nanette: Actually, I made a lot of distracting noises.
- Lilith: Excuse me, the definitive study was done five years later at Cambridge.
- Hester Rose Crane: Oh, excuse me for not keeping up, I was busy being dead.
- Nanette: That's her excuse for everything!
- Hester Rose Crane: Don't you have a tambourine to bang?
- Diane Chambers: [to Nanette] Don't feel bad, she tried to kill me once.
- Hester Rose Crane: Oh, not this paranoia again!
- Diane Chambers: You had a gun!
- Lilith: [distracted by Diane's singing] Can you make that stop?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I'm sorry. It's stuck in my head.
- Diane Chambers: [singing] "I was unwise with eyes unable to see..."
- Lilith: [Frasier stands and puts a hand to his forehead. Diane stops] Thank you.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: All right. I screwed things up with Lana. But wait, that wasn't my fault. She was still in love with her ex-husband.
- Lilith: No, Lana is not the problem.
- Hester Rose Crane: No, she wasn't right for you at all.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, mother, you would say that. You never approved of any of my relationships.
- Hester Rose Crane: Don't pin this on me. I liked Claire.
- Diane Chambers: Oh, she was perfect for you.
- Nanette: Everybody thought so.
- Hester Rose Crane: So why didn't it work out?
- Lilith: Maybe because she was just right for you.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: What does *that* mean?
- Hester Rose Crane: Well, Claire was everything we ever looked for in a woman.
- Lilith: And that terrified you.
- Diane Chambers: Because inevitably she would have left you.
- Nanette: And so, of course, you ran away.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: No. No, no, no. I left Claire because I discovered I had feelings for Lana.
- Lilith: You *created* feelings for Lana...
- Hester Rose Crane: Who was extremely flawed...
- Lilith: So you'd have an excuse to leave Claire.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, but I didn't need an excuse. I didn't love her!
- Lilith: You didn't *want* to love her.
- Hester Rose Crane: She was too good.
- Diane Chambers: And that's why you were afraid.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: All right, you're saying that I'm afraid of a good woman?
- Hester Rose Crane: You're afraid of *losing* a good woman. Again.