Frasier (TV Series)

Death Becomes Him (1993)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Daphne : It won't be so bad. Well, unless you have to parade around the office in one of those gown where your little bum peeks through the back.

  Frasier : So Niles, what's Dr Newman's number? Niles. Niles

  Niles : I'm sorry, I must have drifted off again.

• Niles : I was in the middle of my workout, but, I can always pump iron later.

  Daphne : Well, I'll just pop into the kitchen and fix us a snack.

  [she exits] 

  Frasier : Pump iron? Niles, you don't even pump your own gas.

• Martin : This is crazy. I'm not going to start putting my name on your stuff.

  Frasier : Dad, what happens if I die tomorrow, you and Niles end up in an argument about... well, that African mask, for instance?

  Martin : It'll never happen. Niles, you can have it.

  Niles : I don't want it.

  Daphne : Well, don't look at me. I throw a towel over that thing when you're not home.

• Daphne : [as Niles is making something out of a napkin]  I suppose I like my gents more on the manly side. Was that a little swan you just made?

  Niles : No, it was a B-52.

• Martin : [to Eddie]  Hey, how ya doin', boy? Yeah, glad to see you too.

  Frasier : [to Martin]  So. How was your exam today?

  Martin : Oh, you know. Everything's pretty routine

  Frasier : EKG?

  Martin : Perfect.

  Niles : Blood pressure?

  Martin : Textbook.

  Frasier : Hope they took a full blood panel.

  Martin : Oh, yeah. Told them to take two. They're small.

  Daphne : Ooh, let's have a look.

  [Martin rolls up his sleeve] 

  Daphne : Ooh, look at this. A nice, big Band-Aid. Nice try!

  [Daphne rips the band-aid off his arm] 

  Martin : Ouch! What did you do that for?

  Daphne : Dr. Jennings's office called to reschedule your appointment. You never showed up today.

  Niles : Dad, this is ludicrous. Why do you keep avoiding the doctor?

  Martin : Because I feel fine. I'll go to the doctor when I don't feel fine. Besides, I don't like Dr. Jennings. He's got a model of a colon on his desk, he keeps his tongue depressors in it.

  Frasier : Well, all right Dad, fine. If you don't like him, why don't you go to see my doctor, she's one of the finest gastroenterologists in this city.

  Martin : She? Oh ho ho, no no. No way. If a doctor's gonna have me bend over, I want to look through my legs and see wingtips.

  Daphne : Now now, we'll have none of that. We women have been poked and prodded my male doctors for centuries. I say it's high time you gents went to see a doctor of the opposite sex. See how you like waiting in that room, sitting there all naked and helpless and goosebumpy.

  Frasier : Niles, surely you could recommend someone?

  [Niles doesn't say anything and merely stares at Daphne] 

  Frasier : Niles!

  Niles : I'm sorry, my mind was somewhere else. OH! I know who you should see - Dr. Gary Newman. His office is in my building, he has a very successful practice, I saw a Lichtenstein hanging in his office.

  Frasier : Ooh, Lichtenstein. He sounds perfect

  Martin : Alright, alright. I'll make an appointment, I'll go see him

  Frasier : [to Martin]  Oh, now just hang on a second there, mister. I will make the arrangements and I will escort you personally.

  Martin : Wonderful. I can't wait.

• Niles : Oh, I know who you should see. Dr. Gary Numan - his office is in my building. He has a very successful practice. I saw a Lichtenstein hanging in his office.

  Frasier : Oh, a Lichtenstein! Sounds perfect!