Frasier (TV Series)

Call Me Irresponsible (1993)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marco : I guess I'm just waiting until somebody better comes along.

  Frasier : Until somebody better comes along? Marco! Marco! Marco! Do you hear yourself?

  Marco : No, I turned my radio down after you blasted that other guy.

• Frasier : This is killing me! You think I don't want to pick you up right now, carry you over to that Eames classic, and show you why it's the best-engineered chair in the world?

• Catherine : God! And to think I was going to have sex with you. And it was going to be hot. Oh, like you've never had before. I'm talking steamy, sweat-dripping-down-your-back, neighbors- pounding-on-the-wall, illegal-in-48-states kind of sex! But, hey, you're okay, you won't be alone tonight. No, you've got your ethics!

  [on her way out the door] 

  Catherine : Oh, by the way, the fish was dry.

  Frasier : Oh, that was a cheap shot!

• Catherine : Are you saying that the thought of making love to me makes you sick to your stomach?

  Frasier : Yes, but don't take it personally.

• [Though it's October 21st, Martin and Daphne decorate the apartment for Christmas, to take the picture for their cards] 

  Daphne Moon : [looking at the tree]  Oh, it's lovely.

  Daphne Moon , Martin Crane : [singing]  Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...!

  [Frasier comes in from his nap] 

  Frasier : Excuse me, excuse me... exactly how long have I been asleep?

• Catherine : That was the most delicious salmon Marseilles I've ever tasted.

  Frasier : Well, then you should try my "salmon-chanted evening."

• Catherine : [Frasier is putting their plates in the kitchen sink]  So, have you ever made love in the kitchen?

  Frasier : [Frasier drops the plates and breaks them]  Well, the dishes are done.

• Niles : I'll dispense with the usual adolescent teasing and come straight to the point: who was that babe-o-rama?

  Frasier : Niles, please don't try to be hip. You remind me of Bob Hope when he dresses up as the Fonz.

• [Frasier is appalled at his caller, Marco, saying he doesn't want to commit to his girlfriend "in case somebody better comes along."] 

  Frasier : Tell me listeners, what is it with guys like that? Hey Roz, you've been around the block a few times. You ever run into a guy like Marco?

  Roz Doyle : Oh, they're all Marcos. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Marco.

  Frasier : Come on. I mean, if that were so, then no-one would be having a relationship.

  Roz Doyle : Well, I'm not. My sister's not. None of my friends are. I've seen the future, and its name is Marco.

• Roz Doyle : 20 seconds, and I've got news for you: Marco's on line 2.

  Frasier : Marco?

  Roz Doyle : You know, the guy you got out of the way so you could keep his girlfriend for yourself? Ten Seconds.

  Frasier : I'm not talking to him. I don't want to talk to him. There's no way I'm talking to him.

  Roz Doyle : 3, 2...

  Frasier : Hi, we're back. Roz, whom do we have on the line?

  Roz Doyle : We have Marco on line 2.

  Frasier : Who's this on line 3?

  Roz Doyle : Oh, Todd... oops darn, we lost Todd, but lucky for you we still have Marco on line 2.

• Daphne Moon : [handing out woolen hats for a Christmas card photo]  Now the theme this year is "Santa's Workshop." Everybody put on your little elf hats.

  Frasier : I am not putting this on my head. For God's sake, I mean, I'm a respected professional.

  Martin Crane : [wearing his]  But if you don't, it'll look stupid.

  Frasier : Oh, I think the ship has already sailed on that one.

• Martin Crane : [Trying to take a Christmas card photo]  Just put the hat on, Frasier.

  Frasier : You can't tell me what to do.

  Martin Crane : I am telling you, look, put the hat on.

  Frasier : No, look, the days are passed when you can just sit me on top of some stupid old Packard and make me wear matching sweaters with my little brother.

  Daphne Moon : Boys, boys please. Don't fight. Are you forgetting what day it is?

  Frasier : It's October 21st!

• Frasier : How I envy you, Eddie. The biggest questions in your life are, "Who's going to walk me? Who's going to feed me?" I won't know that kind of joy for another forty years.