Frasier (TV Series)

Breaking the Ice (1995)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Quotes 

• Niles : Call me Ishmael.

• Martin Crane : Frasier... I love you. Niles... I love you.

  Frasier : Thanks, Dad. I love you, too.

  Niles : And I love you, too.

  [silence] 

  Niles : But I *hate* ice fishing!

  Martin Crane : Well, it's the last time you'll have to come out and do that.

  Niles : Oh, in that case I *really* love you!

• Niles : That was amazing! I've never felt so in touch with nature.

  Martin Crane : What happened?

  Niles : For the first time in my life, I just urinated outdoors! Another cup of coffee, I'll go back and dot the "i".

• Frasier : You know that Maris loves you, right? But it's still nice to hear it.

  Niles : I imagine it would be, but let's stick to attainable goals.

• Niles : Dad, wait'll you see all the stuff I got. I had no idea how much I'd like fishing until I realized all the shopping involved!

• Frasier : Niles, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? What the hell are you doing here?

  Niles : What do you mean?

  Frasier : You know, this whole "Sergeant Niles of the Yukon" act. I mean, come on, it can't be all to impress Daphne.

  Niles : It's not an act!

  Frasier : Niles, in twenty years, I've never heard you comment on fish except to say that the sauce had separated.

• Daphne Moon : Don't you ever clean that thing out?

  Martin Crane : No, it's bad luck. Everybody knows that. You show up on a fishing trip with a tackle box that doesn't smell like the most rancid, rotten thing on the face of the earth, then nobody will sit by you.

  Frasier : [entering the apartment with Niles]  Yes, Niles, I used to have the same problem with my multiple personality patients. They always kept saying that the other one had sent the check.

  Niles : [sniffing]  What an odd combination of odors. It smells like a fish died and all the other fish sent flowers.

• Niles : After you've seen Maris's interpretive dance group perform "Afternoon of a Faun" in the east garden, the wilderness holds no terror.

• Frasier : You want to know the reason I came up here? It was just to hear him say the words "I love you".

  Niles : What?

  Frasier : Well, you know, he said it to Duke, he said it to Eddie. He's never said it to me.

  Niles : Surely you don't put yourself up there with Eddie?

• Martin Crane : Wow, Niles, look at you! Now are you sure you're gonna be warm enough?

  Niles : No problem there. I dressed in layers - Polo, Eddie Bauer, and Timberland.

• Niles : I can't figure it out. How could a fish be so dumb as to put his mouth around...

  [Niles sticks a finger into Martin's tackle box] 

  Niles : Ow!