Frasier (TV Series)

An Affair to Forget (1995)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Martin : Maris is learning German, huh? Just when you thought she couldn't get any cuddlier...

• Niles : So, you want to build a two-master schooner...

  Daphne Moon : Schooner? I thought it was a frigate.

  Niles : No, a frigate has a fore-and-aft mainsail.

  Daphne Moon : No, no, that's a brigantine.

  Niles : Oh, you're right. Well, then what's a frigate?

  Martin : That's when you just don't give a damn anymore!

  [leaves] 

• [Martin and Niles are building a model sailing ship] 

  Daphne Moon : Did I ever mention one of my ancestors was a mutineer on the H.M.S. Bounty?

  Martin : No kidding.

  Daphne Moon : Yeah, from what we can tell, he made it safely to Pitcairn Island, where he was quite fruitful and multiplied. You know, for all I know, there's some girl who looks exactly like me running around the South Seas, frolicking in the surf, all brown-skinned and bare-breasted...

  [Niles snaps the mast he's holding in two, sending the pieces flying over the table] 

  Niles : So you want to build a two-masted schooner...