The Flintstones (TV Series)

The Hero (1963)

Alan Reed: Fred Flintstone

Quotes 

• [Fred and Barney chase after a runaway carriage carrying a baby with a yo-yo] 

  Barney Rubble : Oh, he's heading for the amusement park!

  Fred Flintstone : How do you know?

  Barney Rubble : I can see, can't I?

  Fred Flintstone : No, I mean how do you know it's a he?

  Barney Rubble : Girls don't play with yo-yos.

• Wilma Flintstone : Fred Flintstone, I don't see how you can live with yourself. Come on, Dino.

  [Wilma and Dino walk away] 

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, I can live with myself all right. Don't you worry. I can live with myself fine!

  [Fred's inner self appears] 

  Fred Flintstone : Who are you?

  Fred's Self : I'm yourself.

  Fred Flintstone : Myself?

  Fred's Self : That's right, and I'll bet you can't live with me.

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, no? Well, we'll see about that. Beat it. I'm gonna have my dinner.

  Fred's Self : Dinner. That's a good idea. I'm just as hungry as you are.

• Grand Poobah : The floor is open for nominations.

  Lodge Member #2 : I nominate Sam Quartz!

  Lodge Member #3 : I second the nomination!

  Lodge Member #4 : I nominate Gilbert Granite!

  Lodge Member #5 : Second it!

  Fred Flintstone : [whispers]  Well, get with it, Barney.

  Barney Rubble : Uh, I nominate Fred Flintstone!

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, gee, fellas, I ain't sure I'm worthy.

  Grand Poobah : [pounds gavel]  Will somebody second the nomination?

  [no one speaks] 

  Fred Flintstone : [with a disguised voice]  I second it!

  Lodge Member : Hey, you can't second your own nomination!

  Fred Flintstone : Why not? It's a lot better than seconding yours!

  Grand Poobah : [pounds gavel]  All right, all right. Now we have three nominations. We need one more.

  Lodge Member #6 : [whispers]  Hey, Fred, why don't you nominate Barney Rubble?

  Fred Flintstone : Are you kidding? NOMINATE BARNEY RUBBLE?

  Grand Poobah : Well, okay. Barney Rubble has been nominated.

  Fred Flintstone : Just a second!

  Grand Poobah : Barney Rubble has been seconded. That makes four. Nominations closed.

• [Fred turns off his alarm] 

  Fred Flintstone : 4:30? Who set the alarm at 4:30?

  [turns to himself] 

  Fred Flintstone : Why, that no-good... All right, wise guy, what's the big idea?

  Fred's Self : Early to bed and early to rise is good for all you hero guys.

• Fred Flintstone : Step on it, Barney. We'll be late for the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes' meeting. Isn't there some way you can get more speed out of this crate, lighten the load or something?

  Barney Rubble : Well, sure, Fred. If you'd get out, we'd pick up another 20 miles an hour.

• [after changing a flat tire] 

  Barney Rubble : There you are, Fred. That didn't take long, did it?

  Fred Flintstone : Okay, let's go.

  [Fred and Barney drive off, but the new tire is left behind] 

  Fred Flintstone : Did you tighten the lug nut, Barney?

  Barney Rubble : Lug nut? Uh, what's a lug nut?

  [Barney's car crashes] 

  Fred Flintstone : [sarcastically]  Oh, nothing important. It just holds the wheel on, that's all.

• Fred Flintstone : Uh, Exalted Poobah, we all agree that the next Poobah has got to be fair and fearless, farsighted, faithful, friendly, and fortitudinous. Now it looks like everything we want in our Poobah begins with an F, including my name, Fred Flintstone!

  Lodge Member : Yeah, and so does fathead!

• Fred Flintstone : Oh, boy, I wonder what the penalty is for choking yourself.

• Fred Flintstone : Well, this dodo egg better be hot, and I better eat it before my no-good self gets here.

  [slices open the egg] 

  Fred Flintstone : Hey, there's nothing here but the shell. The whole inside of the egg is gone.

  [Fred's Self appears] 

  Fred's Self : Yes, and it was delicious.

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, no, not again. Why can't you get lost?

  Fred's Self : I'm ready to go anytime you admit you can't live with yourself.

  Fred Flintstone : No, no, no, sir. I ain't gonna admit it.

  Fred's Self : Suit yourself, Freddie-boy.

  [puffs cigar] 

  Fred's Self : Ahhhh. There's nothing like a good after-breakfast cigar. You want one, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : Oooh, no, you don't. I know you. Heh! Heh! It's probably one of those trick cigars that explodes in your face. I'll take the one you're smoking.

  Fred's Self : Okay, Fred, sure. It'll be a pleasure to let you have it.

  Fred Flintstone : Thanks.

  [smokes the cigar] 

  Fred Flintstone : You see, I'm not so dumb after all, huh?

  [the cigar Fred smokes soon explodes in his face] 

  Fred Flintstone : THAT DOES IT! OUT! BEAT IT! SCRAM! I'VE HAD IT!

  Fred's Self : You mean you admit you can't live with yourself?

  Fred Flintstone : YES, YES! I ADMIT IT! NOBODY COULD LIVE WITH YOU! YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE! NOW GET LOST! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

  Fred's Self : Gladly, Fred.

  [goes back inside of Fred, then reappears] 

  Fred's Self : And don't think being around you has been a ball, either.

• Water Buffaloes : Hail to thee, O Grand Imperial Poobah!

  Fred Flintstone : I-I don't get it. Wh-Wha-Wha...

  Grand Poobah : Well, it's like this, Fred. Barney pointed out how only a real hero could face up and confess the way you did. That took plenty of courage, Fred.

  Barney Rubble : Uh, yeah. The kind of courage we want in our Poobah.

  Grand Poobah : Exactly. So, at Barney's suggestion, we elected you Grand Poobah unanimously.

  [a Poobah hat is placed on Fred] 

  Fred Flintstone : Gosh, fellas, this really gets me...

  [pats his chest] 

  Fred Flintstone : Right here. And all I can say is, well, you made the right choice. And being a hero, I promise you courageous leadership and furthermore, as I said to the mayor...

  [Fred's Self appears] 

  Fred's Self : Are you starting that again?

  Fred Flintstone : Uh... Uh... Uh, uh, w-what I mean is I-I sure hope I can be worthy of this high honor.

  Fred's Self : That's better.