Father Ted (TV Series)

The Passion of Saint Tibulus (1995)

Ardal O'Hanlon: Father Dougal McGuire

Quotes 

• [Ted and Dougal are holding up protest signs] 

  Father Ted Crilly : Down with this sort of thing!

  Father Dougal : Careful Now!

• Father Dougal : You know me Ted, the lights are on, but there's nobody home...

• Father Dougal : Do you remember that bit when St. Tibulus, he tried to take that banana off the other lad?

  Father Ted Crilly : That wasn't a banana, Dougal.

• [to Father Hernandez about Jack] 

  Father Ted Crilly : He gets a kind of waxy build up in his ears.

  Father Dougal : Yeah, but it's good though, in a way, cos we never run short of candles.

• Bishop Brennan : The amount of people's lives irreparably damaged!

  Father Dougal : They were only nuns.

  Bishop Brennan : Nuns are people too!

• Father Ted : He gets a kind of waxy build up in his ears.

  Father Dougal : Yeah, but it's good though, in a way, cos we never run short of candles.