Father Ted (TV Series)

Good Luck, Father Ted (1995)

Ardal O'Hanlon: Father Dougal McGuire

Photos 

Quotes 

• Father Ted Crilly : Uh... Dougal... there's uh... some shaving cream there.

  Father Dougal McGuire : No, no, Ted, your grand.

  Father Ted Crilly : No... on you.

  Father Dougal McGuire : Oh... where exactly Ted?

  Father Ted Crilly : Just there, below your ear.

  Father Dougal McGuire : Here?

  Father Ted Crilly : Yes and there's... uh... there's a bit more...

  Father Dougal McGuire : Gone?

  Father Ted Crilly : No, there's still just a tiny... Dougal, its all over the place!

  Father Dougal McGuire : How on Earth did that get there?... I didn't even shave this morning!

• Father Ted Crilly : So... let me get this straight. You were up on an old man, riding him around and whipping him. For an hour.

  Father Dougal McGuire : Yes.

  Father Ted Crilly : You realise that image will stay with me for the rest of my life?

• Father Dougal McGuire : Spider-Baby- It's got the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby.

• [Talking to Dougal at Funland] 

  Father Ted Crilly : You're supposed to be taking Jack for his walk.

  Father Dougal McGuire : Well erm, the cliffs were closed for the day.

  Father Ted Crilly : How can the cliffs be closed Dougal?

  Father Dougal McGuire : OK no, it wasn't that. They were gone

  Father Ted Crilly : Gone? The cliffs were gone. How could they just disappear?

  Father Dougal McGuire : Erosion.

• Mrs Doyle : Who's for tea?

  Father Dougal : Me please, Mrs. Doyle.

  Father Jack Hackett : Tea? Feck!

  Father Ted : I'm fine Mrs. Doyle.

  Mrs Doyle : [to Father Jack]  And what do you say to a cup?

  Father Jack Hackett : [shouts]  Feck off cup!