Jaleel White credited as playing...
Steve Urkel
- Laura Winslow: [Laura learned from Steve how to walk like a man] I feel like an idiot.
- Steve Urkel: Great! That's the first step to being a man!
- [Women in audience laugh and cheer wildly]
- Steve Urkel: Snookums, if you're having some sort of identity crisis, well, let's talk about it. You know, there are clinics for this, although the operation is very painful. I mean, just ask my uncle Beverly.
- Laura Winslow: [dressed like a guy] Steve, I'm dressed like this to buy a car.
- Steve Urkel: Why don't you just write a check?
- Laura Winslow: Because the check would be too big. See, the car dealer is sexist, and I figure that
- [low voice]
- Laura Winslow: Larry Winslow, can get a better deal than
- [normal voice]
- Laura Winslow: Laura Winslow, so let's go.
- Eddie Winslow: Steve Urkel, this...
- Steve Urkel: Don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me. You've talked about her ad nauseam. You must be the lovely Sherry.
- Heather: [angrily] Who?
- Steve Urkel: Uhh... Linda?
- Heather: No!
- Steve Urkel: Chavetta?
- Heather: Uh-uh!
- Steve Urkel: Natalie? Amy? Lisa? Soon-li?
- Eddie Winslow: Steve, this is Heather, my one true love.
- Heather: No, your former true love!
- Eddie Winslow: Baby...
- Heather: You're history, Jack!
- [Heather storms out of the house]
- Steve Urkel: [to Eddie] Why, you're in luck. She thinks you're some guy named Jack.
- Laura Winslow: What are you doing here, Steve?
- Steve Urkel: Tidying up. Actually, I was waiting for you, Eddo.
- Eddie Winslow: Why?
- Steve Urkel: I called Helen and profusely apologized for my social gaffe. I explained that all those other women I mentioned are persona non grata in the Eddie Winslow Big Book of Love. Well, let me tell you, Helen was speechless.
- Eddie Winslow: I'll bet... because the girl that was here before was Heather! Helen is my date for tomorrow night!
- Laura Winslow: WAS your date.
- [Eddie grabs a fire poker]
- Steve Urkel: Uh-oh. Toodles! Whoo!
- [Steve runs out and Eddie chases after him]
- Eddie Winslow: Come back here, Steve!
- [Harriette comes downstairs]
- Harriette Winslow: Laura, what's going on down here?
- Laura Winslow: Eddie's trying to kill Steve.
- Harriette Winslow: Then why do *you* look so sad?