- Molly Parker: I don't think I want the government controlling my hormones.
- Edna Garrett: Don't worry, Molly, they haven't been able to control anything lately.
- Blair Warner: [re her young wrestler beau] He has pinned one hundred and seven opponents.
- Edna Garrett: Really? Make sure you're not a Hundred and Eight.
- Blair Warner: I can't afford an extra ounce if I want to get into those jeans Saturday night.
- Sue Ann Weaver: That's the least of your worries. I'd be careful with Steve. He's got a big reputation, and it's not for boxing groceries! Blair, he even dates college girls!
- Blair Warner: Oh? So what? I know as much as a college girl.
- Sue Ann Weaver: Come on, Blair, you and I have played How Far Have You Gone? and we're even!
- Blair Warner: Who knows? Maybe we won't be after Saturday night.
- Sue Ann Weaver: You wouldn't!
- Blair Warner: Don't worry! I just might... experiment a little.
- Sue Ann Weaver: That's what Dr. Frankenstein said.
- Blair Warner: I can't wait until tonight! Steve is going to love me with my new jeans on.
- Sue Ann Weaver: Just be sure they stay on.
- Blair Warner: More advice?
- Sue Ann Weaver: Listen, Steve moves fast enough without a van. Blair, I'm really worried about you.
- Sue Ann Weaver: What do you think Mrs. Garrett will teach in her Sex Education class?
- Cindy Webster: I don't know. This is the first time I'm looking forward to homework!
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I hope Mrs. Garrett tells it like it is!
- Blair Warner: We'll be lucky if she tells it like it was!
- [all laugh]
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: But Mrs. Garrett's really been around.
- Edna Garrett: Tootie, just saying I was married will be sufficient.
- Edna Garrett: Mr. Bradley, you promised me this was to be my class. I think I know how to teach my girls.
- Steven Bradley: I think I would like it a lot better if you were teaching another elective course that was less dangerous, like... How To Drive A Car.
- Edna Garrett: Sex Education is more important. They can't drive till they're sixteen.