Monte Carlo

Richard: I did this thing in my act, something about Vietnamese people eating dogs, right? And this woman comes up to me and she goes, "You know, that wasn't really necessary. You're pretty good, you don't have to resort to that." I go, "What?" She goes, "Well you know, making fun of other people's cultures, that's pretty low. And after all, what is the difference between in Vietnam where they eat a dog and here in the United States where we eat a cow?" I go, "I don't know, lady. I guess the difference is that eating a cow is, you know, correct, and eating a dog is completely screwed up, based on my theory that any animal that can catch a frisbee is not food." That's how I divide the animal kingdom: Throw him a frisbee. If it bounces off his head, he's lunch. And I know it's not scientific, but it works for most of your better-tasting animals. Like if you throw a frisbee at a turkey, boom, right over his head. "Sorry, I don't play sports. I'm a turkey." "Well what are you doing here?" "Well, you know, I don't know. I guess I just have a lot of white meat and drumsticks..." HINT! "... If you wanted to catch me, I'm not very good at flying away..." HINT HINT! "... I know only one word: 'Gobble'." BIG HINT!