- Mrs. Kendall: [finally leaving after having forced the Petries to listen to her son sing an opera for two and a half hours] And say goodnight to Mrs. Petrie for me. I do hope her headache goes away.
- Rob Petrie: [standing by with the front door open] I think it's going.
- Kenneth Kendall: Don Giovanni by Wolfgang A-mee-dius Moe-zart.
- Mrs. Kendall: [very distinctly and correctively] Mote!-Zart!
- Kenneth Kendall: [mimics perfectly and resentfully] Mote!-Zart!
- Laura Petrie: Coffee?
- Jerry Helper: Why, what've you got to go with it?
- Laura Petrie: Fresh cheese and crackers or stale doughnuts.
- Jerry Helper: I'll have the stale doughnuts. It'll give me an excuse to dunk.
- Rob Petrie: Me too, honey.
- Laura Petrie: [heading off to the kitchen] All right. I hope I didn't throw them away.
- Rob Petrie: [to Jerry] She's got a lot of class.
- Buddy Sorrell: What's this?
- Sally Rogers: Whadda ya mean "What's this?" What does it look like? It's a room full of talented kids.
- Buddy Sorrell: [indicating Mel] What does the big one do?
- Laura Petrie: [meaningfully] Honey, I didn't expect you for at least six hours.
- Rob Petrie: Oh... well, the traffic... was good.
- Mrs. Kendall: You don't remember me, Mr. Petrie? Last summer? The supermarket? I was the one that told you how much I liked your show.
- Rob Petrie: Oh, were you the one?