Photos
Quotes
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Daria Morgendorffer : Amy, is life always tawdry, stupid, and humiliating, or is it just a phase?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Just a phase. I'm expecting to grow out of it anytime now.
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Aunt Amy Barksdale : Hmm. I thought when I hit thirty I would stop feeling out of place at these things.
Daria Morgendorffer : You feel out of place?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : You didn't notice my sisters are so busy competing with each other that I don't even register on their radar?
Daria Morgendorffer : Yeah, but I just figured you were above all that. I mean, you're kind of...
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Cool?
Daria Morgendorffer : Um...
Aunt Amy Barksdale : I know, you can't say that to me. Law of the teenagers.
Daria Morgendorffer : Thank you for respecting it.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : When I was a kid, with Helen and Rita going at it all the time, all they left for me to do was to supply the color commentary. Then, one day, I found myself all grown up with my own point of view, and feeling no particular obligation to listen to anyone else's B.S. Ever.
Daria Morgendorffer : So it actually worked out pretty well.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Unless I have to see my sisters at a wedding, yeah. Sarcasm. It's a great way to deal.
[puts on round glasses similar to Daria's]
Aunt Amy Barksdale : But, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
Daria Morgendorffer : [smirks] Nah.
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Aunt Amy Barksdale : [Amy is giving her car keys to the valet] I don't mind a few dents, but change the radio station and you're a dead man.
Aunt Rita Barksdale : Amy, how delightful. I thought you weren't coming.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : I wasn't, but I thought if you two could put aside years of bitterness and resentment, then so can I... for a day.
Aunt Rita Barksdale : Oh, Amy, why do you say such ridiculous things?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Out loud? So, Jake. You're still with Helen, huh? Shows remarkable fortitude. And Roger. How's the skydiving going?
Helen Morgendorffer : Amy, Roger passed away. This is Paul.
Aunt Rita Barksdale : Oh. Sorry Paul. How do you do?
Paul : Who's Roger?
Quinn Morgendorffer : He fell onto a cow.
Paul : Ick!
Daria Morgendorffer : And he was one of the lucky ones.
Helen Morgendorffer : Girls!
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Hey, what's the point of a senseless tragedy if you can't find a little humor in it? I like the way you think, Daria.
[Daria smiles]
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Aunt Amy Barksdale : I suppose you want to ask me what your mother was like as a child.
Daria Morgendorffer : Okay. What was she?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : A tightly wound pain in the ass.
Daria Morgendorffer : New topic?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : You name it.
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Aunt Amy Barksdale : I hate myself in formal dress... and everyone else too.
[to Daria]
Aunt Amy Barksdale : You don't look too thrilled about things either.
Daria Morgendorffer : Oh no. I'm overjoyed to be at this big family event. Day-to-day life isn't humiliating enough.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Let's see... you're in college now, or something?
Daria Morgendorffer : Still high school, unfortunately.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : I have some vague memories of high school, but these days, you all carry weapons, right?
Daria Morgendorffer : Well, not to formal occasions like this.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : That's where you kids make your mistake.