Rhea Perlman acreditado por interpretar...
Carla Tortelli
- Norm Peterson: Afternoon, everybody.
- [Chorus of "Norm" from the people in the bar]
- Sam Malone: Hey, Normie, what would you like?
- Norm Peterson: You got anything pale and cold?
- Carla Tortelli: Yeah, but it's Diane's day off.
- Sam Malone: What seems to be the problem here, folks?
- Frasier Crane: Well, Sam, my colleague has dropped a crumb during dinner, and in the intervening hours it has been encrusted on his tie.
- Cliff Clavin: Oh what, you can take Norm's tie here, put it in a kettle and make soup. Incidently, it's a little known fact that the tie was invented in ancient times to be used as a bib, you know, to wipe your chin.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: You mean they're thinking of changing that?
- Sam Malone: Why don't you just tell the guy that he's got a spot?
- Frasier Crane: [mockingly] Gee, that's an idea. Why didn't we just come to Sam in the first place? Sam, you just don't say, "there's a spot on your tie" to a man the stature of Dr. Bennett Ludlow.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: THE Bennett Ludlow?
- Diane Chambers: You've heard of him, Coach?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: No.
- Frasier Crane: Coach, he's only one of the true giants of psychiatry: author, innovator, educator and I'm not ashamed to say my idol and inspiration.
- Norm Peterson: All right, you lean over, you pretend you're admiring his tie tack, and then just nibble the morsel off really quick. Who's the wiser?!
- Diane Chambers: Sam is right. We have to tell him.
- Frasier Crane: Of course you're right. Oh Sam, may we have three brandies please. And I guess I'm the one who should tell him. After all, I'm the one who suggested beef wellington.
- Norm Peterson: Beef wellington, you say?!
- [makes a motion toward Bennett Ludlow]
- Norm Peterson: Where's that tie?!
- Frasier Crane: Just have to find a way to tell him as subtle and tactful a way that will allow him to preserve his dignity.
- [meanwhile Carla approaches Bennett Ludlow's table]
- Carla Tortelli: Hey, Pigpen. What's that thing?
- [points at the crumb on his tie]
- Carla Tortelli: What are you trying, to catch pidgeons? Ew.
- [picks the crumb off his tie]
- Dr. Bennett Ludlow: Thank you very much.
- Carla Tortelli: Ah, don't mention it. I like a man who wears his dinner with pride.
- Dr. Bennett Ludlow: You know Carla, I sort of have a dream girl myself.
- Carla Tortelli: Oh, oh, tell me about her.
- Dr. Bennett Ludlow: Well, she's a spunky, hearty, curly-haired little spitfire who doesn't know what's really good for her.
- Carla Tortelli: I hope you find her someday.
- Dr. Bennett Ludlow: Me too.
- Carla Tortelli: [addressing everyone in the bar] OK, OK, you're all going to know eventually, so you might as well know now. I turned Benny down, and I'm pregnant again. So in case your math is bad, that makes six, count 'em six kids for an unmarried woman. I don't want your sappy looks, I don't want your charity, I don't want your sympathy. As a matter of fact, I don't even want to talk about this anymore. I just want to be left alone to live my life. Got it?
- Sam Malone: Got it.
- [Everyone in the bar returns to what they were doing, respecting Carla's wishes. After a few seconds, Carla turns back to everyone and notices everyone back to their previous routine.]
- Carla Tortelli: What are you people made of, stone?!
- [everyone rushes over to her to offer support]
- Carla: I'm in love with someone else. I don't know his name. I never even met him yet. But I've had this really clear picture of him in my mind for what seems like forever. I mean, he is gonna walk into this bar one night... well, not walk, really, more like swagger, you know? Confident, but not cocky... He's okay lookin' but he's no pretty boy. He's a swell dresser. He's got on this... burgundy leather jacket. He's got cherry Life Savers in one pocket and a pack of Camels in the other. He's tryin' to quit 'em both, but he can't. His nose... it's broken in all the right places. And he's got this scar on his chin that he won't talk about. He cracks his knuckles all the time, it drives me up the wall but what are ya gonna do. He doesn't talk much... doesn't have to. He falls for me. Hard. I hurt him a few times. He gets over it. We get married. So, uh, you see, it'd be a little messy if I was already married when he got here.