- Oz: Oh, look! Monkey. And he has a little hat... and little pants.
- Willow Rosenberg: Yeah, I-I see.
- Oz: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes. You know that?
- [Willow smiles]
- Oz: You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So I'm wonderin', do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like is the hippo goin', "Hey man. Where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And, you know, the monkey's just, "I mock you with my monkey pants!" And then there's a big coup in the zoo.
- Willow Rosenberg: The monkey is French?
- Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
- Willow Rosenberg: No.
- Willow Rosenberg: There's a Slayer handbook?
- Buffy Summers: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
- Willow Rosenberg: Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool.
- Kendra: You talk about slaying like it's a job. It's not. It's who you are.
- Buffy Summers: Did you get that from your handbook?
- Kendra: From you.
- Oz: Well, I sorta test well, y'know, which is cool, except that it leads to jobs.
- Willow Rosenberg: Well, don't you have some ambition?
- Oz: Oh, yeah. Yeah. E-flat diminished ninth.
- Willow Rosenberg: Huh?
- Oz: Well, the E-flat, it's-it's doable, but it's that diminished ninth, you know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger.
- Xander Harris: A Slayer, huh? I knew this "I'm the only one, I'm the only one" thing was just an attention-getter.
- Cordelia Chase: I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here with *you*!
- Xander Harris: I hope these are my last moments. Three more seconds with you and I'm gonna...
- Cordelia Chase: I'm gonna what, Coward?
- Xander Harris: Moron.
- Cordelia Chase: I hate you!
- Xander Harris: I hate you!
- [they kiss]
- Xander Harris: We *so* need to get outta here.
- Cordelia Chase: Uh-huh.
- Kendra: Then he is all right. We can return to your Watcher for orders.
- Buffy Summers: I don't take orders. I do things my way.
- Kendra: No wonder you died.
- Buffy Summers: Let's go.
- Cordelia Chase: You know what? I'm going... I'd rather be worm food than look at *your* pathetic face!
- Xander Harris: Then go. I'm not stopping ya.
- Cordelia Chase: I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself.
- Xander Harris: Not just any girl. You're special.
- Rupert Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little excessive.
- Willow Rosenberg: It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.
- Xander Harris: [finds what he's looking for in old tome] Oh, here we go. I am the Bug Man, coo-coo ca-choo.
- Rupert Giles: [Kendra had 'equipment malfunction' with crossbow] Is everything alright?
- Buffy Summers: Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp.
- Buffy Summers: You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?
- Xander Harris: No, but this dude was completely different than Praying Mantis Lady. He was a man *of* bugs, not a man who was a bug.
- Rupert Giles: Good Lord... You *were* dead, Buffy.
- Buffy Summers: I was only gone for a minute.
- Rupert Giles: Clearly it doesn't matter how long you were gone. You were physically dead, thus causing the activation of the - the - the next Slayer.
- Kendra: She died?
- Buffy Summers: Just a little.
- [last lines]
- Drusilla: [to Spike] Don't worry, dear heart. I'll see that you get strong again... Like me.
- Kendra: Tank you for the shirt. It was very generous of you.
- Buffy Summers: Hey, it looks better on... well, me, but no worries.
- Buffy Summers: You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine... But nobody messes with my boyfriend.
- Buffy Summers: Still... I woulda kicked your butt in the end. And you know why? No imagination.
- Kendra: [getting angry] Really? Ya tink so?
- Buffy Summers: Oh, I know so. You're good, but power alone isn't enough. A good fighter needs to know how to improvise, to go with the flow. Seriously, don't get me wrong. You really do have potential.
- Kendra: [angry now] Potential? I could wipe the floor with you right now.
- Rupert Giles: And I fear the worst is yet to come. I've - I've discovered the remaining keys to Drusilla's cure. The - the ritual requires the presence of her sire...
- [which alerts Buffy to a major crisis]
- Rupert Giles: and it must take place in the church on the night of the new moon.
- Kendra: The new moon? But that is tonight.
- Rupert Giles: Exactly. And I'm sure the assassins were here to kill Buffy before she could put a stop to things.
- Buffy Summers: They need Drusilla's sire? You mean, the vamp that made her?
- Rupert Giles: Yeah.
- Willow Rosenberg: Buffy, what is it?
- Buffy Summers: Angel... He's Drusilla's sire.
- Xander Harris: Man, that guy got major neck in his day!
- [gets slapped on his shoulder by disgusted Willow]
- [Willy the Snitch brings a captive Buffy before Spike]
- Spike: Are you tripping? You bring her here? Now?
- Xander Harris: [to bug man] Hey, Larva Boy... Yeah, that's right. I'm talking to you, you big cootie!
- Rupert Giles: And you are called?
- Kendra: I am the Vampire Slayer.
- Buffy Summers: We got that part, honey. He means your name.
- Kendra: Oh... They call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir.
- Buffy Summers: Can you say "stuck in the eighties?"
- Willy the Snitch: What are ya gonna do with him, anyway?
- Spike: I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know.
- [an assassin has trapped Cordelia and Xander in Buffy's basement]
- Xander Harris: What are you doin'?
- Cordelia Chase: Going to see if he's gone!
- Xander Harris: That's brilliant. What if he isn't?
- Cordelia Chase: Oh, right! You think we should just slack here and hope that somebody else decides to be a hero? Sorry. Forgot I was stranded with a *loser*!
- Xander Harris: And yet I never forgot that I'm stuck with the numb-brain who let Mr. Mutant in the house in the first place!
- Cordelia Chase: He looked normal!
- Xander Harris: What? Is he supposed to have an arrow with the word "assassin" over his head? All it took was the prospect of a free makeover and you licked his hand like a big, dumb dog.
- Buffy Summers: Get a load of the she-Giles.
- Willow Rosenberg: Creepy.
- Buffy Summers: Ew. I bet Giles wishes I was more of a book geek.
- Willow Rosenberg: Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you.
- Buffy Summers: Yeah, but did you see how they were vibing? "Volume 6. Ha-ha-ha!
- Willow Rosenberg: Buffy, no one could replace you. You'll always be Giles' favorite.
- Buffy Summers: I wonder.
- Willow Rosenberg: Of course, you will. You're *his* Slayer. The *real* Slayer.
- Spike: And if Dru dies... your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates are spared her coming out party.
- Buffy Summers: Ooh, good plan! Let's go! *Charge*!
- Rupert Giles: Buffy...
- Buffy Summers: [to Kendra] It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne.
- Kendra: [re Willie the Snitch] Dis one is dirty! I can feel it!
- Buffy Summers: That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, but we're not gonna get anything out of him if he's, oh, say, unconscious.
- Xander Harris: Welcome. So, you're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.
- Kendra: I - I hope... I tank you, I mean, sir, um... I will be of service.
- Xander Harris: Great! Good. It's good to be a giver.
- Kendra: So, you believe dat Spike is attempting to revive dis Drusilla to health?
- Rupert Giles: Yes, well, I-I-I think that's the, uh, the dark power that your-your Watcher re-referred to. You see, uh, you see Drusilla's not only evil, she's, uh, well, she's also quite mad, and-and-and if she is restored to her full health, then, uh, well, there's no, absolutely no telling what she might do.
- Kendra: Den we will stop Spike.
- Buffy Summers: Ooh, good plan! Let's go! *Charge*!
- Rupert Giles: Buffy...
- Buffy Summers: [to Kendra] It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne.
- Rupert Giles: Yes, I'm, um, I'm afraid it is. You see, Spike has also called out the Order of Taraka to keep Buffy out of the way.
- Kendra: De assassins? I read of dem in de writings of Dramius.
- [first lines]
- Buffy Summers: Okay. One more time. You're the *who*?
- Kendra: I'm the Slayer.
- Buffy Summers: Nice cover story, but here's a tip. You might wanna try it on someone who's not the real Slayer.
- Willy the Snitch: [as Spike's henchmen drag Angel away] What are you gonna do with him, anyway?
- Spike: I'm thinking... maybe dinner and a movie. I don't wanna rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know.
- [follows his goons]
- Spike: Too bad, Angelus. Looks like you go the hard way. Along with the rest of this miserable town.