Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

Doublemeat Palace (2002)

Nicholas Brendon: Xander Harris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Buffy Summers : We need to analyze that burger. We need to find out if it used to be people.

  Xander Harris : [mouth full of burger]  What...? People?

  Buffy Summers : Xander, you ate the burger?

  Xander Harris : Well, first you say it's cat. Then you come in, hand me a burger. Blah, blah, blah. Five minutes later, "Oh, and by the way, it happens to be hot, delicious, human flesh"?

• [on invading the Trio's lair] 

  Willow Rosenberg : A-And they had other stuff, you know, Razor scooters, and pictures of the Vulcan woman on Enterprise.

  Xander Harris : Ooh!

  [at Anya's look] 

  Xander Harris : I mean, nerds.

• [first lines] 

  Xander Harris : Now, I get Warren being a super-villain type, but I thought Jonathan completely learned that lesson. I've never even heard of this other guy.

  Willow Rosenberg : You should have seen their headquarters. It was like the nerd natural habitat.

• Xander Harris : It's fast food. I have swum these murky waters, my friend. There's the assorted creepiness. There's staring. There's the enthusiastic not-showing-up-at-all.

• Xander Harris : An, that was Buffy. She's working late, so I might have to go-

  [turns] 

  Xander Harris : *Yike*!

  Halfrek : I have been called, and vengeance shall I wreak. Cower, masculine one. Tremble as you face my wrath.

  Anya : [entering]  Xander, I'm starting to think that maybe we should do a potluck thing.

  Xander Harris : Honey.

  [Anya notices Halfrek and gasps] 

  Xander Harris : Hello. I am here to tear this man apart. How many pieces do you wish?

  Anya : Halfrek!

  Halfrek : Anyanka? Oh, my God!

  [laughs] 

  Anya : Hi!

  [hugs Halfrek] 

  Halfrek : Hi! How are you? How are you?

  Xander Harris : You two... You know each other?

  Anya : Funny, Halfrek. I didn't summon you to kill Xander. I called to invite you to our wedding.

  Halfrek : You- Oh, my- What an embarrassing mistake.