- Ken Kelly: [Answers doorbell] Oh, hi!
- Mrs. Payne: Oh, Mr Kelly, I see you now have several children.
- Ken Kelly: Three, altogether.
- Mrs. Payne: Of, uh, various colors, one might say.
- Ken Kelly: You just did.
- Mrs. Payne: Mind you, I'm not a bigot. I believe that blacks, yellows, everybody has a place in our society. Why, Mr Payne and I even manage to be cordial to the Shapiros on the next block.
- Ken Kelly: [Sarcastically] That's very generous of you.
- Mrs. Payne: Well, we try. Nevertheless! Three small boys are apt to be destructive... especially minorities.
- Ken Kelly: Congratulations, Mrs Payne, you have my vote for "Neighbor of the Year."
- Mrs. Payne: I consider that remark uncalled for!
- Ken Kelly: If nobody calls for it in thirty days, it's all yours, baby.
- [slams door in her face]
- Kathy Kelly: [Exasperated from trying to reason with prejudiced neighbor] Ken, you're right--that woman is ABSOLUTELY impossible!
- Ken Kelly: Honey, you shouldn't have gone over there to try to reason with her.
- Kathy Kelly: She makes Archie Bunker sound like a liberal.