William Daniels: George Feeny

This Little Piggy

George Feeny

Eric Matthews: Here you are, Mr. Feeny. A gift.
George Feeny: Two box seats to tomorrow night's opera? Is this a bribe?
Eric Matthews: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't a bribe. This is, uh... This is me doing something nice for you, hoping that someday you'll do something nice for me.
[coughs]
Eric Matthews: Yale. Yale.
George Feeny: Mr. Matthews, I will do something nice for you. Places like Yale embrace young people with culture.
Eric Matthews: I like what I'm hearing, Mr. Feeny.
George Feeny: Good. Then I'll pick you up at 7:30.
Eric Matthews: Feeny say what?
George Feeny: Feeny say 7:30.

Eric Matthews: [Eric, in an attempt to bribe Mr. Feeny, is at an opera and is terribly bored] Mr. Feeny, I appreciate you helping me get into Yale and everything...
George Feeny: Oh, Mr. Matthews, I couldn't get you into Yale. I couldn't get you into a Yale sweatshirt.
Eric Matthews: Oh, well, excuse me, Mr. "I'll just take the tickets and not complete the other half of the deal."
George Feeny: The only deal I've ever made with you is to be your teacher and friend. And with that, the responsibility to help make you a better person.
Eric Matthews: Mr. Feeny, I don't want to be a better person. I just want to party with the girl on the raft.
George Feeny: Yes, well, you won't be doing that at Yale.
Eric Matthews: Guess I came here for nothing.
George Feeny: Mr. Matthews, say you did meet that young woman on the raft. Or another woman just like her. And say that she had a passion for culture. Perhaps opera. Well, now, don't you see that after this evening you now have something to talk about?
Eric Matthews: All right, Mr. Feeny, look. It's a nice try, it's a nice plan, but don't you see? This kind of stuff is lost on a guy like me.
[Eric gets up to leave. He reaches the back of the balcony before "Ride of the Valkyries" begins to play]
Eric Matthews: Wait, I know this. I know this. Bom-ba-da-bom bom, bom-ba-da-bom bom. This is Bugs Bunny!
George Feeny: It's Wagner.
Eric Matthews: No, no, we're talking cartoons here, Mr. Feeny. You're way out of your league.

Eric Matthews: Mr. Feeny. Imagine finding you here.
George Feeny: I live here.
Eric Matthews: You stop that. Anyway, you know, I was thinking about what you said, about how you had friends at Yale, and I was wondering what it would take for a man like George Feeny to...
[He not-so-subtly pulls an envelope out of his pocket and drops it on the ground]
Eric Matthews: Oh, look what Eric dropped. Aren't you gonna pick that up?
George Feeny: Why? Eric dropped it.