- A.D.A. Howard Zale: So, you just figured 'what the hell, why wait for proof'?
- Dr. Robert McLean: My patient couldn't wait, Mr. Zale. He was looking at an inminent physical demise. In medical terms, we call it 'death'.
- Denny Crane: [after catching Shirley and Alan talking in the mens room] If she tries to pee standing up, come and get me.
- Lori Colson: You're going to be the first lawyer sued by his client for sexual harassment.
- Brad Chase: I'm a good lawyer because I got a nose for the truth, Lori.
- Lori Colson: You're attracted to her, Brad, it's clouding your nose.
- A.D.A. Howard Zale: Objection.
- Denny Crane: Oh, be quiet.
- A.D.A. Howard Zale: Your honor, he can't tell me to be quiet.
- Judge Paul Resnick: Let him have his turn, Mr. Zale.
- Denny Crane: The answers in life, you don't find them here.
- [points to his head]
- Denny Crane: First, you look to God... and... then...
- Alan Shore: Fox News.
- Denny Crane: Damn right.