Bewitched (TV Series)

Samantha for the Defense (1966)

Elizabeth Montgomery: Samantha Stephens

Photos 

Quotes 

• Samantha Stephens : Samantha Stephens

  [discussing their chances in court with Benjamin Franklin] 

  Samantha Stephens : "I wish you were a little more optimistic."

  Benjamin Franklin : Ben Franklin: "It has been my experience, madam, that optimists only expect the best to happen and are, therefore, constantly disappointed. I, however, always prepare myself for the worst and am, therefore, pleasantly surprised!"

• Samantha Stephens : Darrin, sh-shouldn't we get Mr. Franklin a lawyer?

  Darrin Stephens : Honey, we can't! What can we tell him? Mr. Franklin, couldn't you defend yourself?

  Benjamin Franklin : Now that might be unwise, sir. The man who defends himself in court has a fool for a lawyer, and a jackass for a client.

• Samantha Stephens : Your Honor, may I ask a question?

  Judge : If it's relevant.

  Samantha Stephens : How can a District Attorney accuse Mr. Franklin of stealing his own property?

  Chuck Hawkins : He hasn't proved yet he IS Benjamin Franklin.

  Benjamin Franklin : And you sir have not proved that I am not.

• Chuck Hawkins : Do you believe the defendant is Benjamin Franklin?

  Samantha Stephens : Yes.

  Chuck Hawkins : How can you be so sure?

  Samantha Stephens : All you have to do is look at him and listen to him talk.

  Chuck Hawkins : That's no answer, how do you KNOW?

  Samantha Stephens : Well if he isn't, why would he have tried to pay for a book that was 200 years overdue?

  Chuck Hawkins : Mrs. Stephens, do you know the penalty for perjury?

  Samantha Stephens : Oh hush up.

  Chuck Hawkins : Your Honor! I ob-

  [Samantha silences him] 

  Samantha Stephens : Now I don't see that it makes any difference whether he's Benjamin Franklin or not, he represents Mr. Franklin, doesn't he? Now the District Attorney accuses him of creating a disturbance in the library, but he doesn't mention the fact that he was honest enough to pay a 200 year old fine or that Benjamin Franklin created the first public library. He also accuses him of taking a fire engine, but he doesn't mention the fact that Benjamin Franklin started the first fire department.

  Judge : Aren't you going to object to this counselor?

  Samantha Stephens : Doesn't look that way, Your Honor. Now it seems to me that whoever he is, all this gentleman has done since he's been here is to remind us of the wonderful things that Benjamin Franklin has done, and of the heritage of wisdom that he left us. Now if I were the District Attorney, I'd want to thank him instead of trying to send him to jail.

  [undoes the spell on Hawkins] 

  Chuck Hawkins : I object!

  Judge : I think you're a little late, counselor.