Jack Warden credited as playing...
Rex Barker
- Rex Barker: Hi.
- Darrin Stephens: What are you doing here?
- Rex Barker: Well I just dropped by to tell you I signed with your outfit, provided you handle the account.
- Darrin Stephens: You expect me to work with you after what happened?
- Rex Barker: Oh, forget it. I've got a problem. Some of my best friends have knocked me cold. Hey, listen, if you and your wife are ever in Columbus, Ohio, I... Oh, forget it.
- Darrin Stephens: Sam! They want me back on the job.
- Samantha: Well, I'm not surprised.
- Darrin Stephens: You didn't have anything to do with this, did you?
- Samantha: Of course not, everybody wants you because you're the best there is. Now how about taking me out to celebrate?
- Darrin Stephens: Goo idea. I'll get my hat.
- Samantha: Uh-uh. Don't you dare move.
- Rex Barker: What'd you think of the label? The way it's packaged?
- Darrin Stephens: Frankly, Mr. Barker, I think there's room for improvement.
- Rex Barker: Hmm. I designed it myself.
- Darrin Stephens: I still think there's room for improvement.
- Rex Barker: Did...? Did you open the can?
- Darrin Stephens: I did.
- Rex Barker: Taste the product?
- Darrin Stephens: No, Mr. Barker. I'm not crazy about baby food. It's a little, uh, bland for my taste.
- Rex Barker: What's bland about strained bananas and squash with buttered beef hearts? It's delicious. In fact, it's so good, you hate to give it to your kid.
- Rex Barker: The slogan. "Barker's is so good, you hate to feed it to your child."
- Darrin Stephens: Well, I'd rephrase that, Mr. Barker. "Barker's is so good... you can hardly resist eating it yourself." Something like that.
- Rex Barker: You like rephrasing things I say, don't you?
- Darrin Stephens: I like being honest.
- Larry Tate: You said "first-rate." I presume you were referring to Stephens' portfolio.
- Rex Barker: No, I was referring to his wife.
- Larry Tate: But about the campaign, did you have a chance to look it over?
- Rex Barker: I haven't even had a chance to look her over yet. She's been in and out of that kitchen all evening. Oh, there she is. Oh, she's quite a girl. Yep.
- Samantha: Mr. Barker, I'm warning you. If you don't get control of yourself, I'm going to do something drastic.
- Rex Barker: Promise?
- Rex Barker: That must have been some party last night.
- Larry Tate: What did you do?
- Rex Barker: I don't know. But whatever it was, I won first prize.
- Larry Tate: What happened to your hair?
- Rex Barker: I haven't the faintest idea.
- Darrin Stephens: It looks good.
- Rex Barker: Yeah. You ought to see my chest. It's all... ruffled.
- Darrin Stephens: Why don't you sit down?
- Rex Barker: Yeah. Oh! Seems like I backed into a cactus bush or something.
- Rex Barker: I usually drink it with carrot juice. I get just as smashed, but I can see better after dark.
- Samantha: How are you feeling, Mr. Barker?
- Rex Barker: Miserable, thanks. But this'll straighten me out. A little hair of the dog that bit me. Know what I mean?