Kevin Conroy: Batman • Bruce Wayne

If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?

Batman • Bruce Wayne

The Riddler: You may not believe in Minotaurs, either, but you'll still have to answer the riddle.
Minotaur: I have millions of eyes, yet I live in darkness. I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. I have no muscles, yet I rule two hemispheres. What am I?
Batman: That's simple: the human brain.
[the Minotaur robot shuts down]
Batman: It has millions of visual and auditory nerves, four lobes, two hemispheres, and it's the only thing Edward Nygma respects.
The Riddler: A lucky guess, that's all, but it won't save you, Batman!

[last lines]
Dick Grayson: But that creep Mockridge got to pocket a cool ten mil from the buyout. What a burn!
Bruce Wayne: Maybe. But we've been searching for the Riddler for months, and he's still out there.
[Mockridge is shown, shivering with fear, locking five separate deadbolts on his front door, then tip-toeing to his bedroom, carrying a shotgun]
Bruce Wayne: [voice-over] Mockridge may have his money, but he won't be sleeping well.
[Still shivering, Mockridge looks nervously under the bed, then puts down his shotgun and climbs into bed. He turns out the light and lies awake, staring at the ceiling]
Bruce Wayne: [voice-over] How much is a good night's sleep worth? Now there's a riddle for you.

[as Batman and Robin enter the "Riddle of the Minotaur" maze]
The Riddler: But remember: you'll have to answer the riddle of the Minotaur, too.
Batman: I can hardly wait.
[to Robin]
Batman: How far did you say you'd gotten in the game?
Robin: Gee, I'm not sure. Maybe halfway?
Batman: Already I love this.

Batman: I'll find Mockridge if I have to tear this place apart, Nygma.
The Riddler: I doubt it, I made sure the perils are quite lethal. You have eight minutes, gentlemen, then Mockridge becomes the only good corporate shark: a dead one.

Robin: We've gotta use one of these keys.
Batman: Yes, but which one? And why are they labeled A, C, and D?
Robin: Don't look at me.
Batman: Let's try D.
Robin: [as he does so, two circular blades fly towards them] Look out!
[they barely manage to stay out of the way]
Robin: Try another one.
Batman: Okay. "A" this time.
Robin: No, wait! Turn that key, and there'll be three blades.
Batman: But how do you...
Robin: It's the "C" key. Trust me.
[turning the key, the door opens]
Robin: It's a musical puzzle. The key of D has two sharps. The key of A has three.
Batman: But the key of C has no sharps.

[after Batman re-wires the Hand of Fate to fly over the maze to the center]
The Riddler: That is grand-scale cheating, Batman! You're not allowed to tamper with the Hand of Fate!
Batman: I don't believe in fate!

Batman: Where's Mockridge?
The Riddler: In the center of the maze, along with the minotaur robot. I've programmed it to destroy him at exactly 4:30 a.m. Which gives you less than ten minutes to run the maze and find him. But first, throw down your utility belts. It'll be more... interesting that way, don't you think?

Robin: What did you mean a joke on his name? You know who he is?
Batman: I figured the creator of the minotaur game was behind this the minute I saw that billboard. I read all about him in the company records I examined. His name's Nygma. Edward Nygma.
Robin: I get it. E. Nygma. Meaning a puzzle or riddle. An enigma. At least we know who we're looking for.

Daniel Mockridge: So I've made sure that Competitron owns all rights to Riddle of the Minotaur, free and clear. Considering all the licensing and merchandising... oh, well, heck, we just built a Minotaur amusement park outside the city. And if we'd had to pay royalties on all that to the creator...
Bruce Wayne: You can stop pitching, Mockridge. I want this deal so I can move Competitron to Gotham. This city desperately needs the jobs it'll create.

Robin: [escaping one of the Riddler's traps] "Losers ahead"?
[realizing]
Robin: Duck!
Batman: [they manage to dodge circular blades in the walls] "Loses a head." I don't know what's worse, the traps or the puns.

Batman: "When is the minotaur's owner as high as an elephant's eye?"
Robin: Hmm... well, Mockridge owns the Minotaur, but what's as high as an elephant's eye?
Batman: Corn.
Robin: Corn?
[he's thrust back into his seat as the Batmobile begins moving]
Batman: From an old song lyric before your time.
Robin: So, what's he's saying? "When Mockridge is corny"? "When Mockridge is in the corn"?
Batman: What's another word meaning corn?
Robin: Uh, k-kernel? Cob?
Batman: Maize. "When Mockridge is in the maize"!
Robin: The maze at the amusement park!
Batman: Exactly.