Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

Harley and Ivy (1993)

Mark Hamill: The Joker, Jack Napier

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Batman takes cover in Poison Ivy's hideout, in the middle of a toxic waste dump. Joker opens fire with a tommy gun, laughing maniacally] 

  Batman : Stop shooting, you lunatic! We're sitting on a powder keg!

  [Joker keeps shooting, heedless, until a chemical drum ignites and sets off an enormous explosion, rocking the whole dump and whooshing toward everyone] 

  The Joker : Whoops... Dopey me.

• [last lines; everyone is back in Arkham] 

  The Joker : That's it. The next time I start a gang, no women. YOU HEAR ME? NO WOMEN!

  [outside, Harley and Ivy are tending the vegetable patch] 

  Harley Quinn : I think we can still work it out, don't you?

  [Ivy flings a handful of soil in her face] 

• The Joker : HARLEY! This place is going to blinking blue blazes. Anybody seen my socks? Harley!

  [his hyenas growl at him] 

  The Joker : They snapped at me! What's going on, Roc? The place is a mess, no one's fed the hyenas, and I can't find my socks. Where's Harley?

  Rocco : Y-Y-You canned her, boss, remember?

  The Joker : So? She's always come back before.

  Rocco : Gee, uh, I-I guess you ain't seen the papers, then.

  The Joker : Papers? What are you babbling about?

  [seeing an article about Harley and Poison Ivy's crime spree] 

  The Joker : AAAAAHHHHHHH!

• Dr. Harleen Quinzel : Mr. J?

  The Joker : Harley?

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : Hi, puddin'. You still angry with me?

  The Joker : Honey, baby, pumpkin pie... you know I can't hold a grudge. Where are you?

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : With a friend. Look, I can't talk, but I wanted to let you know I'm okay.

  [hearing a door close] 

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : Oops. Gotta go. I'll talk to you soon.

  The Joker : [having been tracing the call]  Sooner than you think.

• Poison Ivy : I hope you realize we're on a toxic waste dump? I'd say you've got about ten minutes to clear out before the fumes do you in.

  Rocco : [gagging and spitting out his food]  She's right, boss. I'm feeling kind of... sick.

  The Joker : Hold it in, Rocco! I'm only staying long enough to collect what's mine.

• The Joker : My, haven't you been the busy little bees?

  Harley Quinn : Puddin'?

  The Joker : You were out, so we just made ourselves at home. Hope you don't mind.

  Harley Quinn : You found me!

  Poison Ivy : So much for self-esteem.

• The Joker : Hoo! Ha ha ha ha! Look at the goodies.

  Poison Ivy : That's ours, you louse!

  The Joker : Oh, Pammy, I wouldn't leave you empty-handed. Since you like flowers so much...

  Harley Quinn : Oh, puddin', no!

  The Joker : [pushing her away]  You can have mine!

  [spraying the flower on his lapel into her face] 

  Harley Quinn : Oh! Red!

  Poison Ivy : [coughing, then laughing]  It doesn't work on me.

• The Joker : Quick! Turn here!

  Harley Quinn : But, boss, that's...

  The Joker : I said turn!

  Harley Quinn : Yes, sir.

  The Joker : WHOA-OAAHHH! Why didn't you tell me someone put a hill there?

  Harley Quinn : I tried, but...

  The Joker : Never mind. Just hand me the gun.

  [seeing the Batmobile catching up] 

  The Joker : Come on! Come on!

  Harley Quinn : [handing him a large revolver]  Here.

  The Joker : [taking aim]  Hey, Batsy! This is where I leave you flat.

  [firing it, a rod pops out and a "Bang!" flag unfurls] 

  The Joker : Huh? You nincompoop!

  Harley Quinn : [ducking as he throws it at her]  Ahh! You didn't say which gun.

• The Joker : Ahh! The wind in my hair and the Batman at my heels. Ha! It's the kind of night that makes you glad to be alive.

• The Joker : No, we didn't get the diamond. The Dork Knight showed up before we even got to the museum. I had a great shot at him, too, except my dear little Harley Quinn handed me the wrong gun!

  Harley Quinn : But, puddin', it was kind of funny watching you shoot at him with the "bang" flag.

  The Joker : Funny? You presume to tell me what I should think is funny? In fact, when have you ever contributed a worthwhile idea to this gang?

  Harley Quinn : Well, I... I did get us away from Batman.

  The Joker : Oh, huzzah! The kid gets lucky, and she wants a medal. Maybe I should just let you run the gang. Maybe you're a better crook than the rest of put together.

  Harley Quinn : Maybe.

  [cowering at his glare] 

  Harley Quinn : Not.